DAY SIXTY NINE - WEIGHT LOSS, STRESS & HAIR!!

Howdy Doody friends. I am writing this blog to try to update all of you. I have been so very busy at work and with my personal life that I just haven't had time to write or even look at the computer. Let's start with the weight cause I know you all want to know....I have lost 119 lbs and counting. I had to go buy some clothes finally as everything was falling off, pants, shirts, underwear and bras. I got some nice new clothing, 2 dresses, 2 bras, 2 pants,and a few shirts. Next on the agenda is STRESS yes I know we all have it but somehow mine just seems to multiply. I am stressed about our finances as my husband is still not back to work but we just got word about an hour ago that he will start back on Monday....thank the Good Lord!!!! Now hopefully I can catch up on my mortgage. Next is work.....my work is based on mail....we receive a majority of our claims via the mail system....we have a damn postal strike going on. I have been pulled to work on another team to help out (partly I believe because my team doesn't have enough work). The stupid postal crap better be over soon as it is driving me crazy. The more stress I have the more my hair falls out and the more my hair falls out the more stressed I get. I have probably lost 50% of my hair. Now thank goodness going into this I had really thick hair or I'd be in big trouble right now. The mess on my pillow in the morning is disturbing to say the least. The texture and elasticity of my hair has changed...or should I say is dead. I understood that there would be some hair loss but I guess I was not prepared for the amount of hair loss. The doctor says it will continue to to fall out for close to the next six months.....this is an issue. He saws I won't go bald but I am doubting that at this point. In a panic I went online and ordered myself a wig or two. They are beautiful but they are hot and the ribbing can rub and cause irritation. I know that there is cancer patients all over the world that wear wigs and I am sorry for sounding so damn selfish but it really does upset me. I know that it will eventually grow back. I will begin a vitamin supplement next week and that should help with feed protein to my hair and nails a little more, but it will slow down the weight decline. I have about another 100 to 115 lbs I would like to lose (and never find again). My fingernails have peeled right down to the skin and bleed on occasion so I covered em up...that's right pretty fake nails! I am not a vain person in the sense of wanna look better than others, but I cannot look bad, hair chunks, bald spots and yukkie nails. I don't want to be that person that some toddler points at and says "mommy whats wrong with her" or "why does she look like that". I know it sounds so bad but It is a panic that is weighing heavy on me. I work so hard to lose weight to feel and look better and then this comes along. I have not been in a very good frame of mind lately (probably good thing I didn't write a blog) as my parents always said "If you don't have something nice to say don't say anything" I am sure that my family has taken the brunt of my misery. It will be a terribly long summer if I cannot find some happiness somewhere. I think and am hoping that once the vitamins start that I will feel better as I seem to be tired right now. I am having blood work done next week and will see where all the levels of iron, potassium, etc are and if I need to take extra vitamins. I am excited that I have gone from a size 32 to a size 22 pant and I bought pants at a normal store for the first time in years. I went to the movies with my husband last week and had to text all my friends as it was the first time in 20 years that I sat comfortably in a theatre seat without my legs being squished to the point they fall asleep or are so sore and numb when the movie is over that it kills me to walk out of the theatre. It was my anniversary this week and my husband and I went to Boston Pizza for a light lunch. I sat in a booth that a year ago I couldnt fit into and had to change to a table and chairs. I know they may sound like small things to some people but it is huge to me. I am happy with the weight loss and I would encourage anyone who is looking at surgery not to hesitate. Some of the little road bumps along the way are trying but remember the road you are on takes you to a fabulous destination! Hope this updates everyone and that everyone is well. Big hugs to my dear coworker Miss Kake (she loves cake wrecks.com) as she is going through a terrible family crisis. Please know that there are friends that you can call on and if you need anything I am here! Take good care Miss Kake and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Steph

Day Fifty Five- Finished the yard and am still alive

 It's now quarter to ten at night and I have a strawberry swirl cream cheese cake in the oven baking for my daughter Paige's 16th birthday.  I came home from work today, stopping to pick up a few rolls of sod so we could get the back yard finished.  I planted 10 beefsteak tomato plants, 8 cherry tomato plants, 6 green pepper plants, 6 red pepper plants, 36 sweet red onion plants, 3 rows of peas and 3 rows of green beans in my raised garden crates.  I also planted my rhubard in the ground at the very back corner of the yard(had to have a chat with the dogs about staying away from it).  I am waiting to get 2 more crates so I can plant the rest of my veggies.  I have turnip, squash, zucchini, yellow beans and carrots to plant yet.  My hanging tomato bag that has cherry and grape tomotoes in it is starting to produce fruit as well as my strawberry hanging basket and the sweet cherry pepper basket.  I was so excited.  By the time all the vegetables are ready to harvest I should be able to eat raw vegetables again.  I can't wait to eat a salad.  I didn't think I would ever miss salad as much as I do...who knew.  The backyard is cleaned up, the sod was laid all around the hot tub gazebo and the patio stones put in place....looks way better than the mud slide mess that was there.  The 5 panels of floor to ceiling curtains that go on each side of the hot tub gazebo got hung up tonight and the freshly painted gazebo looks great.  Now it is time to enjoy my hot tub again.  My darling Adam (the air conditioning guy) showed up tonight and fixed the unit lickity split.  Many many thanks as too many days like yesterday when my sweat was sweating and I think I might resort to violence.  It was so damn hot in my house last night it was crazy!  I stepped on the scale today and am down another 6.4 lbs.  I have reached the 100lb mark and was very excited and still am, but I just want to tell my gastric bypass friends is don't get discouraged by what people say or think it really isn't important.  It's what you know and what you think and how you feel.  I feel great and it's been a long time since I have felt good, or danced or worn high heels.  I did all of those things this week and whether some ignorant butt clown says "oh I just don't see it" or "well, your face is definitely thinner but I don't see the rest of the weight loss" should take away from your victory.  I am victorious and I will continue to be.  I am fighting my battle of the bulge and winning this war! The 6x dresses that I could not fit into before as the shoulders would be huge but not fit at my hips or belly or the reverse, just couldn't get it over my boobs.  Well, I bought a 2x dress and wore it very proudly this week.  As for the stupid things or hurtful things people say....consider where it comes from and ignore.  People that say those kinds of things and believe you me there are more people than I ever thought that say stupid stupid stuff are the people we can learn from.  If you don't like the way someone talks to you then you will not talk to someone else like that ...correct.  I was told as a child "If you don't have something nice to say then don't say it at all"  and as an adult I am in total agreement with that statement.  I believe everyone is entitled to an opinion but there is a time and a proper place to make your opinion known.  If you know you have a problem with verbal diarhea then please carry some "tissue" with you so you can stuff you big yap with it!  I have the type of personality that this stupidity from people doesn't bother me, it just makes me laugh.  I laugh at the people that let this "poop" spill out of their mouths.  Obviously I am a different person and there are others that would take these nasty words and be destroyed.  I use it as a stepping stone and a learning experience, taking the poo and make fertilizer....let yourself grow...be proud of you, your accomplishments and your goals.  You have made a huge step, you had surgery, you have losts weight and you will continue to lose weight.  This is awesome and so are you!
Steph

Day Fifty Four - Writer's Block verses Exhaustion

 Dear Blog followers
Please let me start by apologizing for not writing for a week, but last Thursday I was sent home from work and taken to the hospital.  I was put on IV and rehydrated.  I could not intake enough fluids to rehydrate myself and needed some extra help.  I was released and needed to return the next day for more extra fluid help.  This heat and dehydration thing is definitely gonna be a challenge.  I have been super busy plus just so exhausted at night that I can't even think to write a blog let alone a sentence.  Today the hottest day to date so far this year and my central air is not working.  I am melting, I can feel the energy slipping away.  Been on the couch since I got home today and just can't seem to move.  I dizzy spells have slowed down but have not stopped completely.  I have realized that I can only do a little bit then I need to sit down and drink and chill.  I just hated the cold weather and the rain so I am trying very hard not to complain about the heat.  I thought I had all the "bathroom orchestra" issues under control but since the hospital last week I am having the constipation musical replay.  Today I headed for the ladies room at work thinking the entire way there..."oh this isn't gonna be good" and well, no disappointment folks.....each and every member of the bowl band showed up and just in time for the afternoon break rush!  My feet were off the floor and up the door faster than you could blink.....I have tattoos on my feet and they are definitely recognizable and well with the "off tune tooting" going on I really don't wanna be linked to that musical parade.  My musical had a brief intermission and then started right back up again.  I guess practice makes perfect right!  I think the band was just trying to warm things up for me....you know a trial run.  Except there was no run, 2 mins, 4 mins, 6 mins nothing....10 mins something but then the pain joined the band.  Now I am suffering in pain with a musical interlude literally coming from behind....my behind that is.  Finally the pain began to subside and I was able to go.  This was the upsetting part, I have not eaten very much solid food since last week and accordingly the proceeds should be of a softer nature.....WRONG!!!!! I was wondering if I ate a glass bottle or chopped on a rose bush for dinner last night.  The term "tearing yourself a new one" has totally a new meaning now!  So with the band playing on and me breaking into a sweat from the shear uncomfortableness of the entire situation I was finally able to get out of the washroom and head for me desk.  Now maybe I have shared too much today "butt" I knew that people were waiting to hear how I am doing.  Next time you "pass gas" or are visiting the washroom remember that "I am somewhere in this world having a whole musical interlude playing" out of my hind end.  Chuckle it's ok...I do.
I will try to write the blog again tomorrow as long as all goes well.
Steph

Day Forty Seven - Dorothy This isn't Kansas!

 For the first time in my entire life I experienced the most remarkable thing....I was blown by the wind.  Yes, me...I was!  I am so thrilled.  Today the wind was insane in the KW Region.  Tried having dinner outside with everyone holding their plates and things down cause the wind is blowing like crazy. I don't remember ever having winds like that except when we had a tornado years ago.  My minature pinscher, Taco tried to run across the deck to get down to the lawn but the wind had other ideas....his little body was going sideways as his legs  were running forward....the look on his face was funny and he barked at the wind!  My darling husband thought it would be great to open the back and front windows to help cool off the house, but the winds ripped the curtain rod out of the wall , screws, plugs and all. Two of my pictures were knocked off the wall and dirty and dust is everywhere.  Oh well, guess I can leave the honey do list for him tomorrow!  I made some homemade soup tonight....turnip,chicken and sweet potatoes.  I think since I am having such a hard time eating right now that I am going to go back to soups for a few days.  I was not able to keep anything down eariler today but my boss suggested I just suck on ice chips all day and that seems to help.  I only had a baby forkful of rice and one bite of turkey breast at lunch and wow, one second you are fine and the next your stomach has exploded into your mouth.  There was no warning ...just barf!  I was less dizzy today than yesterday but am still having the light headed spells where the room moves very fast.  I need to call the bariatric clinic back and find out what I need to do...whether I need to go back to the hospital and have IV or just take a  day to rest. On a good note, they started to install the central air conditioning today.  They are still working on it but it should be up and running by tomorrow.  I am very excited.  For the first time since I left home I am finally going to have central air conditioning again...this is a joy.  NO more hot sweaty nights that lead to miserable days that follow.  I am very happy about this decision.  My mother in law is coming for dinner tomorrow evening so I made a Chicken Cordon Bleu lasagna just gotta grate some cheese on top tomorrow.  I am ready for bed.  Geoff and my dad got all the yard bags out to the road along with quite a few bags of garbage.  My back yard is starting to look good.  The shed doors are hung and look great.  Just need to do some painting around the gazebo then hang the curtains.  The coloured designs are in all the moonlites and they look so nice at night.  Just waiting on the large planter boxes and the 16 cement blocks I need to level them.  My vegetable plants are all doing well and need to be transplanted soon.  I am sad to say that a large stalk of my rhubarb plant broke off in the gale force winds we had.  I cannot wait for the rhubard to grow more and spread.  Sometimes my patience is just not good.  Just like with my weight....some days I just want it to be done....at my goal weight.  It's like I get anxious waiting....crazy eh.  Oh well, I will survive!
Steph

Day Forty Six - HOLY Hot Balls Batman!

 Jumped outta bed with a start, painting on my makeup like an art.  Fled from my room like a witch on a broom. Needed to grab my lunch box, but dropped it on the floor then stubbed my toe on the door.  Yelled out loud good thing there was not a crowd, the words I said might have woken the dead.  Looking at the clock I thought "it's time to rock".  Out the front of the house, never ends quite like a mouse.  Jumped in my automobile , left the driveway so fast I made the tires squeal.  Out to the stop, turning left I heard a pop.....the ceiling drop down rack had come right out of the track.  I banged it with my fist and thought one more thing for my "to do list".  On my way to work,  driving along singing a song, cut off by a jerk.  Made it to my job....felt sick most of the day almost wanted to sob.  Work went ok...but I was happy to see the end of the work day.  Outside I went....through the spinning glass....made my head spin and I nearly fell on my!  Opened the car and the hot air came out with a blast...got in quick to turn the air on fast.  Pointed in the direction of home was my goal...but the traffic was like swimming in a soup bowl.  Bumper to bumper, each little car tried to go past....ha ha now they are pulled over for going to fast.  Turning on to my street I realize that the heat is definitely not helping me feel well, getting into my house I believe that I need to sit for a spell.  My mom made Geoff's dinner as I didn't feel like taking another light headed spinner.  I accidently fell into my work neighbour, my apologies if I made your arm sore.  The room did a little spin as I was taking my set and apparently the floor had let my feet.  I fell back in my chair, which did a roll back i'd say to be fair.  Poor dear beside me,  I think I scared her enough to almost pee!  I felt my heart race, but the look on her face....I said "oh my, I pulled a ^&%$*" With a laugh and a nod....she totally understood as we sat in our pod.  Now at home on my couch ...I feel like such a slouch but do I care....not at the moment cause I feel like an angry bear.  I called my clinic, dehydration is what this sensation,  is coming from....today bad it makes me fall on my bum.  The answer to the question is drink drink drink....oh my gosh I am gonna sink sink sink.  I can barely eat as it makes me feel sick my mouth is so dry that my tongue feels like a stick.  I am drinking as much as I can, my bladder can't take much more oh man.  I think my teeth are being to float....I should have let hubby invest in a boat.  The nurse say drink more....or walk through the emergency door.  There is only one solution as the heat surrounds us with air pollution.  Drink more it will do harm...then IV will be inserted into my arm.  The tiny needle and tube are a big pain and the darn nurse can never find my vein.  I do not want things to go that way....so now I am drinking again while I pray.  My eyes are growing tired but my boss just called and I thought I was fired.  I need to go to bed but all the movement is happening in my head.  I need to rest but since I cant I am becoming a pest.  I wish I could sleep,but it is difficult when holding the bed with one hand and your head.  I do not know what to do next I am really quite perplexed.  It is time for me to say good night.....sleep tight.

Steph

Day Forty Five - Heat Finally ...Now How Do I Make My Body Adapt?

I was just chuckling to myself because I never in a million years would have ever thought that I would even think this thought!  I don't feel like eating.  Not really hungry, drank all my fluid I needed today plus a little more....couldn't get all my food in.  In fact don't think I ate even half of what I was supposed to.  I ate supper but it did not sit well and it was about half of the portions...didn't eat snacks today just couldn't eat.  Tonight I have the polar opposite of my previous lower end issues.  Is it just the heat doing this?  Couldn't go to the gym cause I was already light headed.  One of the higher management at my work has had gastric bypass and said to keep Gatorade on hand.  Ever time I try to do something and break a little sweat then I wanna hurl.  Besides the great Gatorade tip is there any other tips that you wonderful readers could send my way.  I am trying to adapt to this new me, new body, new feeling.  Apparently I am not handling heat or exerting energy very well. I am hoping that this is not how my summer is gonna be....I finally feel good and wanna walk, do things and be outside and I feel like poop!  I am so tired tonight.  My central air did not get installed today so I am hoping it is tomorrow as it is supposed to be 32 degrees celsius....with humidex.....HOT HOT HOT!  I did NOT sleep well last night do to the heat and stickiness....was up at 3:30am and am still standing...or sitting.  I am not in a great mood though and am a little frustrated with all of the above mentioned crap.  I am kind of tired now but still feel really yucky.  Nausau and light headedness seem to be following me like a stalker.  My abundance of energy is dwindling like a fire dwindles to a spark then snuffs out.  I don't really have much else to say today other than I wish I was feeling better.  Hope it doesn't last and if anyone has experienced this please let me know how you handled it and how soon it went away.  Good night friends.
Steph

DAY FORTY FOUR - DOES EVERYTHING I DO HAVE TO TAKE SO MUCH EFFORT?

Today the sun shone for a few hours ....must of heard my warning yesterday and thought better of ticking me off!  My friend came over again today and her and I made a big dent in the ground breaking stuff.  Lots of digging, weeding and cultivating.  Geoff was able to get the scrap wood cut up and put away.  I have one of the shed doors fully painted - 2 coats both sides and the clear coat sealer on top of that done and dried.  I was able to get the front side of the second door painted with 2 coats so that means tomorrow I will need to paint the back side of the door- 2 coats and wait till it is completely dry and paint on the clear coat.  Then the doors are ready to be hung....lol so much fun.  Anyways, last trip to the surgeon I had lost between 8.5 and 9.5 lbs (depends which doctor's scale is being used) in which he was pleased (this was last Wednesday).  He said a few things at this appointment which I didn't really think was seriously important just tucked away for good measure....wrong!  He said "DO NOT SWEAT!"  I said "But I live in Ontario and it's the end of May" he didn't find it funny but neither did I.  Thank God central air conditioning is being installed tomorrow or I might be in big trouble. He also said that hair loss would start to happen at about 3 months to 8 months but not to panic I would not go bald!  Ok this is more concerning but he said it would stabalize.  He said that once hair loss occurs then weight loss will be more challenging.  He said that my weight reduction will be directly reflected in my effort.  Well, I determined then and there that Monday May 30 was my first day back to the gym!  Oh yeah baby!  Except I now understand what he meant by don't sweat.  I worked for about 15 - 20 mins shovelling, hoeing, and raking at the back garden when the sweat broke out....very shortly after that I had to sit down cause things started spinning and nausea was visiting.  Will this happen everytime I exert some energy?  Sat and rested for awhile then did a few other thing and went back at it...same deal.  I am not happy with this new revelation.  I drank my ice tea, I drank water but I am guessing it wasn't enough.  How do you drink more when you are so full! Someone please enlighten me.  So after all of that I am a little nervous about the gym.  I think I will go but just start slow....doctor said to start with treadmill or eliptical and no weights yet so thats what I will do.  Still have way more yard stuff to get done but it is coming along.  Stepped on the scale today and am done another 4.8 lbs since last Wednesday.  Woo hoo, bring on the summer!  Oh and the greatest thing for today is my hot tub is filled and is up to perfect temperature!  Time to hot tub!
Steph