39 Hours, 16 minutes and I am at the final destination of this countdown. I cannot believe how fast the time has gone. It has flown by. It feels just like yesterday when I started this countdown to my surgery. I am so thrilled about all the people that have viewed the blog and walked this road with me. Your comments and emails have certainly made my journey interesting and filled with encouragement. Now for all the faithful daily viewers don't dispare as the countdown nears zero days. Zero is not the ending it is the beginning of the new chapter of my life. I will start at day zero and count up now as up is towards the sky and the sky is the limit for what I can achieve. I ask you all to join me in finishing this journey and starting my new journey. We can walk and talk, laugh and cry as make my way towards my first goal of losing 100lbs.
Now for the scrubdown part of this blog....tonight will be my last chance to have a shower, bathe, get all cleaned up before I begin the last day before surgery. I am going to work tomorrow because it is better than sitting at home and worrying. I won't have anytime when I am done work to go home and have personal time before I head to the hospital to have the PICC Line inserted. This procedure takes 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours so by the time I am done and going home for the night I won't be able to shower or do any of major things I need to do. I plan on having on of those long leisurely baths tonight with all the smelly girly stuff ...oh, and candles. Wait, maybe not too many candles I am thinking I might need more light to shave my legs. Investing in a new razor might not have been the best idea.....maybe renting a weed wacker would have been more appropriate. I didn't realize that I was sporting the really really retro cavelady look. I won't even mention the terrible mess that the "pits from hell" are in. Does amazon and tar pits mean anything to anyone? Good thing I bought a multipack of razors ....now I think I better buy a commercial size bottle of draino! Next would be making sure that my hair is washed and done (reference:The Hair Do That Did). If my hair is not done then I won't be any good to anyone.I really need to make sure every inch (and there is a lot of those right now) of my body is clean and smelling good, you know body spray, body butter...powders. I know it sounds really wierd but I always feel better no matter what the situation is when I have a shower and am cleaned up and ...well groomed (lol, the politest way to put that).
Meltdown: I think a lot of people are expecting me to have some sort of melt down. Now I am not saying that I am not nervous because of course I am a little nervous. I had a few moments of "oh my gosh" and "oh man" today but they didn't last long. My hands did a little shake at one point or my body was doing Elvis impersonations without me again...not sure which. I seem to have a peace. A peace that is comforting both my heart and mind. I know that there has been many prayers, positive energy and other sentiments sent my way. Thank you all for contributing to my calmness. Martin Luther King Jr said "Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek but a means by which we arrive at the goal." With peace I am arriving at my goal! My life long goal, my new start. "It isn't enough to talk about peace, one must believe in it and it isn't enough to believe in it one must work for it." Eleanor Roosevelt. I have worked for it and I feel I have achieved a peacefulness that will keep me through the picc line procedure, the surgery and the recovery. I have just found out that my husband will be with me just before I go into surgery but he will have to leave the hospital to see the surgeon who operated on his hand Friday morning....they insist he need to be seen only at Cambridge Hospital in the fracture clinic....won't make any exceptions. Gotta love people that have understanding and compassion. Geoff may or may not make it back in time to be with me in recovery and that doesn't make me nervous it just makes me angry. I cannot change the situation at all, Geoff had our family physician even try calling the surgeon and the hospital but there was no way to work around this situation. I am disappointed but I am strong and I will do what I have to do to achieve this, the next step on my way to success. I will be fine, me and my faith alone will make it through each difficult spot. "Don't fill your life with worry- fix what you can and let the rest take care of itself" (anonymous). A interesting quote I heard was "To look back all the time is boring. Excitement lies in tomorrow" (Natalia Makrova). Tomorrow is exciting and the next day will be even more exciting....each new day will bring more excitement. There is a famous quote by Mother Teresa that says "a smile is the beginning of peace" so I will grin from ear to ear....something like the cheshire cat.
Steph
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