9 Days - The Whispering In The Walls

Todays blog is dedicated to all the doubting Thomas's, yes you know who you are!  Maybe you think I am deaf or blind or maybe both but I hear and see the looks and whisper's that are going on.  I should really applaude you because your whispers of my failure only serve to make me that much more determined to conquer this mountain.  Now I would like to ask a few questions.  Why don't you have the kahona's to just talk to me?  I totally believe you are entitled to your opinion but if you think  so little of me to think that I am an epic failure at least have the balls to tell me to my face.  Does it make you feel better about your own failures to predict mine?  I hadn't realized that some of my so called friends had gotten new jobs ..... doing psychic readings.  Your new found ablilities are quite interesting but unfortunately don't bank on them! You see people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones!  Since it is the weight loss issue we are talking about how many times have you guys started diets or W/W programs?  You know restarting every month doesn't make it any less of a crash and burn it just makes it a new beginning.  How many of you think you could live on shakes that taste like sawdust and chalk without eating anything for 14 days?  Could you do it?  Trust me I would not be putting myself through this hell to fail.  I would not be risking my life having a surgery that is risky because of my size.  Why in Gods name would I spend all this time, money and energy ....like 400 dollars for shakes, using 3 weeks of my holidays, and controlling myself with a will power that I am not even sure where it is coming from.  How many of you whisperers have gym memberships....yeah you know the "I am going to workout" talks.  I do, oh but I go to the gym 5 days a week for at least an hour.  That's right ....I'm not failing there either.  It's really sad when people that are aquaintances start coming to me and telling me about the chatter.  The funny thing is I already knew!  I just have to wonder what gives you the right to make any judgements about me? I have been nothing but open and honest about this entire weight loss and gastric bypass process.  I have said that it is definitely not easy in fact it is down right freaking hard! Vince Lombardi said "winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is."  I am sure that there will be set backs along the way and that the path to success will be curvy and hilly kinda like me, but I keep walking on the path.  I am not focused on winning or succeeding as much as I am focused on wanting to win, wanting to succeed.  You see my real friends the ones that know me well enough to talk to me about anything know that I am a fighter and that no matter how hard it is I will previal. I have kicked butt in way worse situations and have been in far worse spots so to those of you that are betting against me predicting that I will fail don't go to any casinos cause you don't have a good gambling sense.  I am so excited about my progress so far and about my progress to come that I will predict that I will succeed!  My committment is not only to my friends and family but to the most important person....me!  This is for me, my health, my happiness, my not wanting to live without pain daily....so rest assured I definitely have vested interests to succeed.  I got another great quote from my cousin.  The quote was "You are the Michelangelo of your own life.The David that you are sculpting is you."( Joe Vitale )  I learned many many years ago that true friends are few and the people I trust are fewer, but I am trusting only two people with sculpting my new image....me and God!  I think the odds are great!!! So next time you decide to whisper about anyone including me maybe you should take a long look at yourself and your failures before you decide to try to predict the future and project your inadequacies on to others.

Steph