Children are grand and they say the greatest things! A coworker told me a story about her son (I think he is 7) and what happened at Sunday School this past weekend. The parents and the children were gathered together while a police officier spoke to them. The officier asked the children if they knew one of the things that he carried all the time? After a few answers and pulled out his handcuffs and showed the crowd. Well, my coworkers son was quick to announce to the church attendees that those looked just like the ones his mom had beside her bed! My coworker now glowing red tried to explain that they were left from a costume they had used a few weeks ago for a murder mystery evening her and her husband had hosted but I am not sure anyone heard her through the laughter. Awwww the love you have for your children sure comes in handy right at those special moments. My son is 12, he does not live at home with me full time..Grady has some special needs and requires more help throughout the week. Grady doesn come home every Friday afternoon and goes back to his residents on Sunday nights. My son is extremely smart and has a wonderful vocabulary. I won't explain his needs but I will say that his has a very tender heart. We talk almost every other night throughout the week and you just never know what discussion he might decide he wants to have. Last he called to talk to me.....Mom, is tomorrow your surgery? No Grady on Friday that is in 4 more sleeps (this was Monday evening). Oh ok....I asked him if there was something wrong. He kinda avoided the question but I knew if I gave him some TIME he would let me know. We talked about the walk he was going on, his hockey cards, saving his allowance and putting money in the bank. Then he said Mom, can I come to the hospital with you? I said "no honey, I have to go alone with Dad"....there was a long pause "but I need to see you". I asked him why and his response was "You are my mom and you need to know I love you before you have an operation and I can't hug you over the phone". I thought for a moment and told him that I knew he loved me and that I know he is hugging me in his heart. There was a little panic and he quickly asked about seeing my afterward. The lady that is the supervisor of his residents had previously told me that if I was feeling well on the Saturday they would bring him to see me. I explained to Grady what had been said and if that would be ok. He felt this was alright but he needed me to explain the operation again and why I was having it. The a simple explanation I told him everything in a nut shell. This created another long pause that I actually asked if he was still there. "Mom, I understand that you want you want your leg fixed and that you have to lose weight to do that but don't you know that the outside doesn't matter what you look like it's the inside. Besides you are pretty anyways" My unique boy, has more understanding than most adults.....if we could all think like him this world would be a better place. A man in Walmart a few months ago called him a "Retard" because he was counting out his money to slow to pay for his purchase. I just wonder who the for lack of better wording dim witted person was. The tenderness that children show is more special than anything we will ever experience in our lives. Hug your children tonight and tell them that you love them unconditionally. My time line is shortening as we speak.....I don't feel as nervous today as I did yesterday. Maybe the words of love from my son have calmed me, or all the prayers that people have said for me maybe it is the calm before the storn or just me realizing that this chapter of my life is ending and a new one is beginning. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 is a biblical verse about anxiety and having a peace that passes all understanding. I am not a religious nut but I do believe that God is with me and that He will protect and keep me through this difficult transition in my life. It is said that Time, Love and Tenderness heal all things including a broken heart. My heart is not broken but there was times in my life it was and as the song says "Oh, nothing is a sad as it seems, you know 'Cause someday you'll laugh at the heartache Someday, you'll laugh at the pain Somehow you'll get through the heartache Somehow you can get through the rain." My someday is soon, I will look back at all the struggles and laugh. The years of embarrassment, shame and humiliation will be washed away with the rain and I will be on a new road, a new way of life. The thought I will leave you with is "Courage is the power to let go of the familiar" Raymond Lindquist and the challenge I leave you with is get ready to let go of the familiar ..... take the motto of "out with the old and in with the new!"
Steph
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