Now for those of you that know me....you all know that I am the last person to be unorganized and all over the place! So just remember that while you are reading this blog because there isn't really one theme today it is really all over the place. For all the viewers that loved "The Monster In The Stall" the terrible saga continues. The lovely ladies that sit near me can attest to my rumblings and grumblings today.....Miss "M" we will call her, could hear my bowel band playing a tune from across our pod. My sprint time is getting better too. The mad dash to the ladies room is getting faster but I am convinced that it is because I am losing 5 to 10 lbs every time I have my waster management meeting in there. Union definitely was not happy today and the sh*t was flowing down hill. One very dear sweet coworker was washing her hands when I came out of the stall today and she just stared at me with the most concerned looked. I think my off tune orchestra scared her to death....or maybe it was the marching band with the terrible tuba player. Either way she looked frightened and wasn't so sure what to say to me. I don't embarrass easily but I am sure my face has had a permanent red hue for the last couple days. It's a totally great thing that I learned to laugh at myself a long time ago (only to save myself from crying). WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO single digits baby!!!! I am down to 8 days....and as of right now 29 shakes to go! I had a conversation today in which I said that my taste buds must be dying because the sawdust shakes are starting to taste ok. My food connoisseur days are done! While I was having my lunch shake today which was a chicken caesar pita in my mind I was sitting next to a friend. My friend was eating pizza for lunch and another person at the table mentioned not being able to eat pizza again. They asked a few questions about when and what I would be able to eat once the surgery is over. Immediately after surgery for two weeks is only broth, sugar free jello, diluted apple juice and water at very limited amounts (2tsps every 1/2 hr) then I move on to week three which brings some creamed soups and mushy oatmeal with a small amount of skim milk at one month I will be able to eat tiny amounts of pureed fish, chicken, vegetable or chew it until it is mushy in my mouth. I will not be able to eat red meat for at least 6 to 8 months. Eventually I will be able to eat pizza, probably never a whole piece again but a small 1/2 piece likely. The truth is if I dwell on all the things I can eat like I am never suppose to eat popcorn or drink carbonated beverages again then I would be sad....it's all the way you look at it. Yes, I will at some point get to enjoy pizza again just not as much but that's way better than never again.....you see my cup is half full not half empty. I know there was many comments on last nights blog "The Whispering In The Walls" and I want to thank all my true friends that support me. With all the comments that came to me via facebook, emails, txt , blog comment and in person I realize that there were some people that were upset. Please don't be upset for me....I didn't write the blog to have people feel bad for me I wrote it to make people and mostly the ones that had the opinions know that no matter what they said I believe in me. A coworker that I spoke with today was in tears for me (what a sweet lady) she was so concerned that I would be uncomfortable at work knowing people said things or that I was hurt by others opinions. I am a very open person, take criticism well (I think) and am willing to listen to what anyone has to say, but if you have the courage to tell me your opinion I would hope you have the courage to listen to my opinion. I realized last night that I had some male viewers and that they were definite supporters. I am so excited that I have my own personal cheering team. If you are reading my blogs and you have a thought or a question please feel free to leave a comment I will always try to get back to you if I am able to. I also wanted to point out that I didn't make this decision at the spur of the moment. There was months of research that happened between myself, my doctor and many other professionals. Did you know that once I was weighed at the bariatric clinic and had my starting weight that if I gained over 1 lb the surgery would be canceled? No pressure huh! I spent months listening to nurses, dieticians, social workers talk about healthy eating, smart choices, diet programs, lifestyle changes. The social worker needed to have details of my life which started at childhood, through my teen years, into my first marriage and right to my present marriage. The in depth and very personal information that had to be shared was a reality check of sorts too. Weeks and months of charting and journalising my meals and grocery lists. What I cooked, how I cooked. Crossing out of things on my food list. George Washington said "if I had 8 hours to chop down a tree I would spend 6 sharpening my axe." There was no rash decision it has been very calculated the whole darn way and I am proud of what I have done so far and extremely excited about what I am still going to do! As the time approaches quicker and quicker my thoughts become a little more scattered only because I have so many different thoughts and feelings coursing through my brain that I am not sure I can write them all down but I am definitely going to try. Bare with me friends, as tomorrow brings me to 7 days to go and excitement,nerves and thoughts of the unknown might borrow my focus for a moment here and there. I am prepare, I am ready, and I will succeed.
Steph
Steph
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