Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Day Thirty Two - Things you should NOT do in the dark!

Went to my place of employment, sat at my desk and worked till my brain was spent!  The weather is making me feel dead, I really just wanted to go back to bed. I am pretty sure there is too much time, as I am begin this stupid rythme. Been praying for some "skittles"  (readers you will understand).  I seem to have an increasing ....let's say pressure building in my lower body.  This morning I had bran for breakfast and waited.  I was hoping that it coupled with the other remedies I would find some "southern" comfort!  Forty Five minutes and then the "twinge" locked my computer and headed for the symphony hall!  Now our ladies room lights work on motion sensors.  Entering the washroom the lights turned on...thanking God quietly for small favours as this meant I was the only one in there I headed for my favourite fartherest stall.  Now the timer for the lights is usually 10 minutes, but guess what ....not this time.  I no sooner dropped my pants, which was too near the marching ants (why is there ants is the ladies room when it is freezing out?) the room went  dark which cued the damn orchestra and off we went.  Now I already have issues with public washrooms and doing the things I need to do when people are around, or talking, or right beside me....but apparently I cannot do those things in the dark.  Looked in my purse for a lighter to spark (I carry one for the hubby not me) but oh no.  Banged my damn funny bone as I used the light on my phone.  My bowel band buddies were showing up one by one.....and no no I was not having any fun.  The tuba was first follwed by the trombone with a burst.  My nerves by now are totally shot and I was getting sweaty and hot.  I sat in the crapper thinking of things that would make me happier and my love of Dr Seuss is making me sound like a silly goose unfortunately my derriere sounds like a dying moose!  As the minutes ticked by I thought for sure I was gonna cry.  Couldn't even see my own hand but it wasn't slowing down the band.  Finally I heard a ladies voice and the lights appeared now not by my choice, as I had wished for light I was now trying to hold my butt tight!  I tried I did with all my might but it was a losing fight.  Tamborines and symbols chimed along as the "skittles" played the "plop plop" splash song.  I gave up trying to keep things shut and released the cheeks of my butt.  I was embarrassed so much but as such...I was so happy to poop that I ended the symphony with a "whoop whoop"! Now I am happy to say that finally today I was able to go....for I feared if I didn't something was gonna blow! Now I now this might sound funny talking about all this personal stuff but if I needed to laugh as it was getting kinda rough.  Some people might think I am crazy as a fruit loop making this blog a rythme about poop.  Only my GBS friends will underrstand and would give me a high five with the swing of a hand.  I think that most of us have had this issue ......cashmere is a nice soft tissue! I know I am not the only one but why not have a little fun.  I am glad I finally got to release  now I can step back on the scale and hopefully see the weight decrease.  I wish you all well and I know you will laugh and tell, all those friends that you know about this blog for the reader with a good cup of joe.
Steph

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