DAY SIXTY NINE - WEIGHT LOSS, STRESS & HAIR!!

Howdy Doody friends. I am writing this blog to try to update all of you. I have been so very busy at work and with my personal life that I just haven't had time to write or even look at the computer. Let's start with the weight cause I know you all want to know....I have lost 119 lbs and counting. I had to go buy some clothes finally as everything was falling off, pants, shirts, underwear and bras. I got some nice new clothing, 2 dresses, 2 bras, 2 pants,and a few shirts. Next on the agenda is STRESS yes I know we all have it but somehow mine just seems to multiply. I am stressed about our finances as my husband is still not back to work but we just got word about an hour ago that he will start back on Monday....thank the Good Lord!!!! Now hopefully I can catch up on my mortgage. Next is work.....my work is based on mail....we receive a majority of our claims via the mail system....we have a damn postal strike going on. I have been pulled to work on another team to help out (partly I believe because my team doesn't have enough work). The stupid postal crap better be over soon as it is driving me crazy. The more stress I have the more my hair falls out and the more my hair falls out the more stressed I get. I have probably lost 50% of my hair. Now thank goodness going into this I had really thick hair or I'd be in big trouble right now. The mess on my pillow in the morning is disturbing to say the least. The texture and elasticity of my hair has changed...or should I say is dead. I understood that there would be some hair loss but I guess I was not prepared for the amount of hair loss. The doctor says it will continue to to fall out for close to the next six months.....this is an issue. He saws I won't go bald but I am doubting that at this point. In a panic I went online and ordered myself a wig or two. They are beautiful but they are hot and the ribbing can rub and cause irritation. I know that there is cancer patients all over the world that wear wigs and I am sorry for sounding so damn selfish but it really does upset me. I know that it will eventually grow back. I will begin a vitamin supplement next week and that should help with feed protein to my hair and nails a little more, but it will slow down the weight decline. I have about another 100 to 115 lbs I would like to lose (and never find again). My fingernails have peeled right down to the skin and bleed on occasion so I covered em up...that's right pretty fake nails! I am not a vain person in the sense of wanna look better than others, but I cannot look bad, hair chunks, bald spots and yukkie nails. I don't want to be that person that some toddler points at and says "mommy whats wrong with her" or "why does she look like that". I know it sounds so bad but It is a panic that is weighing heavy on me. I work so hard to lose weight to feel and look better and then this comes along. I have not been in a very good frame of mind lately (probably good thing I didn't write a blog) as my parents always said "If you don't have something nice to say don't say anything" I am sure that my family has taken the brunt of my misery. It will be a terribly long summer if I cannot find some happiness somewhere. I think and am hoping that once the vitamins start that I will feel better as I seem to be tired right now. I am having blood work done next week and will see where all the levels of iron, potassium, etc are and if I need to take extra vitamins. I am excited that I have gone from a size 32 to a size 22 pant and I bought pants at a normal store for the first time in years. I went to the movies with my husband last week and had to text all my friends as it was the first time in 20 years that I sat comfortably in a theatre seat without my legs being squished to the point they fall asleep or are so sore and numb when the movie is over that it kills me to walk out of the theatre. It was my anniversary this week and my husband and I went to Boston Pizza for a light lunch. I sat in a booth that a year ago I couldnt fit into and had to change to a table and chairs. I know they may sound like small things to some people but it is huge to me. I am happy with the weight loss and I would encourage anyone who is looking at surgery not to hesitate. Some of the little road bumps along the way are trying but remember the road you are on takes you to a fabulous destination! Hope this updates everyone and that everyone is well. Big hugs to my dear coworker Miss Kake (she loves cake wrecks.com) as she is going through a terrible family crisis. Please know that there are friends that you can call on and if you need anything I am here! Take good care Miss Kake and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Steph

Day Fifty Five- Finished the yard and am still alive

 It's now quarter to ten at night and I have a strawberry swirl cream cheese cake in the oven baking for my daughter Paige's 16th birthday.  I came home from work today, stopping to pick up a few rolls of sod so we could get the back yard finished.  I planted 10 beefsteak tomato plants, 8 cherry tomato plants, 6 green pepper plants, 6 red pepper plants, 36 sweet red onion plants, 3 rows of peas and 3 rows of green beans in my raised garden crates.  I also planted my rhubard in the ground at the very back corner of the yard(had to have a chat with the dogs about staying away from it).  I am waiting to get 2 more crates so I can plant the rest of my veggies.  I have turnip, squash, zucchini, yellow beans and carrots to plant yet.  My hanging tomato bag that has cherry and grape tomotoes in it is starting to produce fruit as well as my strawberry hanging basket and the sweet cherry pepper basket.  I was so excited.  By the time all the vegetables are ready to harvest I should be able to eat raw vegetables again.  I can't wait to eat a salad.  I didn't think I would ever miss salad as much as I do...who knew.  The backyard is cleaned up, the sod was laid all around the hot tub gazebo and the patio stones put in place....looks way better than the mud slide mess that was there.  The 5 panels of floor to ceiling curtains that go on each side of the hot tub gazebo got hung up tonight and the freshly painted gazebo looks great.  Now it is time to enjoy my hot tub again.  My darling Adam (the air conditioning guy) showed up tonight and fixed the unit lickity split.  Many many thanks as too many days like yesterday when my sweat was sweating and I think I might resort to violence.  It was so damn hot in my house last night it was crazy!  I stepped on the scale today and am down another 6.4 lbs.  I have reached the 100lb mark and was very excited and still am, but I just want to tell my gastric bypass friends is don't get discouraged by what people say or think it really isn't important.  It's what you know and what you think and how you feel.  I feel great and it's been a long time since I have felt good, or danced or worn high heels.  I did all of those things this week and whether some ignorant butt clown says "oh I just don't see it" or "well, your face is definitely thinner but I don't see the rest of the weight loss" should take away from your victory.  I am victorious and I will continue to be.  I am fighting my battle of the bulge and winning this war! The 6x dresses that I could not fit into before as the shoulders would be huge but not fit at my hips or belly or the reverse, just couldn't get it over my boobs.  Well, I bought a 2x dress and wore it very proudly this week.  As for the stupid things or hurtful things people say....consider where it comes from and ignore.  People that say those kinds of things and believe you me there are more people than I ever thought that say stupid stupid stuff are the people we can learn from.  If you don't like the way someone talks to you then you will not talk to someone else like that ...correct.  I was told as a child "If you don't have something nice to say then don't say it at all"  and as an adult I am in total agreement with that statement.  I believe everyone is entitled to an opinion but there is a time and a proper place to make your opinion known.  If you know you have a problem with verbal diarhea then please carry some "tissue" with you so you can stuff you big yap with it!  I have the type of personality that this stupidity from people doesn't bother me, it just makes me laugh.  I laugh at the people that let this "poop" spill out of their mouths.  Obviously I am a different person and there are others that would take these nasty words and be destroyed.  I use it as a stepping stone and a learning experience, taking the poo and make fertilizer....let yourself grow...be proud of you, your accomplishments and your goals.  You have made a huge step, you had surgery, you have losts weight and you will continue to lose weight.  This is awesome and so are you!
Steph

Day Fifty Four - Writer's Block verses Exhaustion

 Dear Blog followers
Please let me start by apologizing for not writing for a week, but last Thursday I was sent home from work and taken to the hospital.  I was put on IV and rehydrated.  I could not intake enough fluids to rehydrate myself and needed some extra help.  I was released and needed to return the next day for more extra fluid help.  This heat and dehydration thing is definitely gonna be a challenge.  I have been super busy plus just so exhausted at night that I can't even think to write a blog let alone a sentence.  Today the hottest day to date so far this year and my central air is not working.  I am melting, I can feel the energy slipping away.  Been on the couch since I got home today and just can't seem to move.  I dizzy spells have slowed down but have not stopped completely.  I have realized that I can only do a little bit then I need to sit down and drink and chill.  I just hated the cold weather and the rain so I am trying very hard not to complain about the heat.  I thought I had all the "bathroom orchestra" issues under control but since the hospital last week I am having the constipation musical replay.  Today I headed for the ladies room at work thinking the entire way there..."oh this isn't gonna be good" and well, no disappointment folks.....each and every member of the bowl band showed up and just in time for the afternoon break rush!  My feet were off the floor and up the door faster than you could blink.....I have tattoos on my feet and they are definitely recognizable and well with the "off tune tooting" going on I really don't wanna be linked to that musical parade.  My musical had a brief intermission and then started right back up again.  I guess practice makes perfect right!  I think the band was just trying to warm things up for me....you know a trial run.  Except there was no run, 2 mins, 4 mins, 6 mins nothing....10 mins something but then the pain joined the band.  Now I am suffering in pain with a musical interlude literally coming from behind....my behind that is.  Finally the pain began to subside and I was able to go.  This was the upsetting part, I have not eaten very much solid food since last week and accordingly the proceeds should be of a softer nature.....WRONG!!!!! I was wondering if I ate a glass bottle or chopped on a rose bush for dinner last night.  The term "tearing yourself a new one" has totally a new meaning now!  So with the band playing on and me breaking into a sweat from the shear uncomfortableness of the entire situation I was finally able to get out of the washroom and head for me desk.  Now maybe I have shared too much today "butt" I knew that people were waiting to hear how I am doing.  Next time you "pass gas" or are visiting the washroom remember that "I am somewhere in this world having a whole musical interlude playing" out of my hind end.  Chuckle it's ok...I do.
I will try to write the blog again tomorrow as long as all goes well.
Steph

Day Forty Seven - Dorothy This isn't Kansas!

 For the first time in my entire life I experienced the most remarkable thing....I was blown by the wind.  Yes, me...I was!  I am so thrilled.  Today the wind was insane in the KW Region.  Tried having dinner outside with everyone holding their plates and things down cause the wind is blowing like crazy. I don't remember ever having winds like that except when we had a tornado years ago.  My minature pinscher, Taco tried to run across the deck to get down to the lawn but the wind had other ideas....his little body was going sideways as his legs  were running forward....the look on his face was funny and he barked at the wind!  My darling husband thought it would be great to open the back and front windows to help cool off the house, but the winds ripped the curtain rod out of the wall , screws, plugs and all. Two of my pictures were knocked off the wall and dirty and dust is everywhere.  Oh well, guess I can leave the honey do list for him tomorrow!  I made some homemade soup tonight....turnip,chicken and sweet potatoes.  I think since I am having such a hard time eating right now that I am going to go back to soups for a few days.  I was not able to keep anything down eariler today but my boss suggested I just suck on ice chips all day and that seems to help.  I only had a baby forkful of rice and one bite of turkey breast at lunch and wow, one second you are fine and the next your stomach has exploded into your mouth.  There was no warning ...just barf!  I was less dizzy today than yesterday but am still having the light headed spells where the room moves very fast.  I need to call the bariatric clinic back and find out what I need to do...whether I need to go back to the hospital and have IV or just take a  day to rest. On a good note, they started to install the central air conditioning today.  They are still working on it but it should be up and running by tomorrow.  I am very excited.  For the first time since I left home I am finally going to have central air conditioning again...this is a joy.  NO more hot sweaty nights that lead to miserable days that follow.  I am very happy about this decision.  My mother in law is coming for dinner tomorrow evening so I made a Chicken Cordon Bleu lasagna just gotta grate some cheese on top tomorrow.  I am ready for bed.  Geoff and my dad got all the yard bags out to the road along with quite a few bags of garbage.  My back yard is starting to look good.  The shed doors are hung and look great.  Just need to do some painting around the gazebo then hang the curtains.  The coloured designs are in all the moonlites and they look so nice at night.  Just waiting on the large planter boxes and the 16 cement blocks I need to level them.  My vegetable plants are all doing well and need to be transplanted soon.  I am sad to say that a large stalk of my rhubarb plant broke off in the gale force winds we had.  I cannot wait for the rhubard to grow more and spread.  Sometimes my patience is just not good.  Just like with my weight....some days I just want it to be done....at my goal weight.  It's like I get anxious waiting....crazy eh.  Oh well, I will survive!
Steph

Day Forty Six - HOLY Hot Balls Batman!

 Jumped outta bed with a start, painting on my makeup like an art.  Fled from my room like a witch on a broom. Needed to grab my lunch box, but dropped it on the floor then stubbed my toe on the door.  Yelled out loud good thing there was not a crowd, the words I said might have woken the dead.  Looking at the clock I thought "it's time to rock".  Out the front of the house, never ends quite like a mouse.  Jumped in my automobile , left the driveway so fast I made the tires squeal.  Out to the stop, turning left I heard a pop.....the ceiling drop down rack had come right out of the track.  I banged it with my fist and thought one more thing for my "to do list".  On my way to work,  driving along singing a song, cut off by a jerk.  Made it to my job....felt sick most of the day almost wanted to sob.  Work went ok...but I was happy to see the end of the work day.  Outside I went....through the spinning glass....made my head spin and I nearly fell on my!  Opened the car and the hot air came out with a blast...got in quick to turn the air on fast.  Pointed in the direction of home was my goal...but the traffic was like swimming in a soup bowl.  Bumper to bumper, each little car tried to go past....ha ha now they are pulled over for going to fast.  Turning on to my street I realize that the heat is definitely not helping me feel well, getting into my house I believe that I need to sit for a spell.  My mom made Geoff's dinner as I didn't feel like taking another light headed spinner.  I accidently fell into my work neighbour, my apologies if I made your arm sore.  The room did a little spin as I was taking my set and apparently the floor had let my feet.  I fell back in my chair, which did a roll back i'd say to be fair.  Poor dear beside me,  I think I scared her enough to almost pee!  I felt my heart race, but the look on her face....I said "oh my, I pulled a ^&%$*" With a laugh and a nod....she totally understood as we sat in our pod.  Now at home on my couch ...I feel like such a slouch but do I care....not at the moment cause I feel like an angry bear.  I called my clinic, dehydration is what this sensation,  is coming from....today bad it makes me fall on my bum.  The answer to the question is drink drink drink....oh my gosh I am gonna sink sink sink.  I can barely eat as it makes me feel sick my mouth is so dry that my tongue feels like a stick.  I am drinking as much as I can, my bladder can't take much more oh man.  I think my teeth are being to float....I should have let hubby invest in a boat.  The nurse say drink more....or walk through the emergency door.  There is only one solution as the heat surrounds us with air pollution.  Drink more it will do harm...then IV will be inserted into my arm.  The tiny needle and tube are a big pain and the darn nurse can never find my vein.  I do not want things to go that way....so now I am drinking again while I pray.  My eyes are growing tired but my boss just called and I thought I was fired.  I need to go to bed but all the movement is happening in my head.  I need to rest but since I cant I am becoming a pest.  I wish I could sleep,but it is difficult when holding the bed with one hand and your head.  I do not know what to do next I am really quite perplexed.  It is time for me to say good night.....sleep tight.

Steph

Day Forty Five - Heat Finally ...Now How Do I Make My Body Adapt?

I was just chuckling to myself because I never in a million years would have ever thought that I would even think this thought!  I don't feel like eating.  Not really hungry, drank all my fluid I needed today plus a little more....couldn't get all my food in.  In fact don't think I ate even half of what I was supposed to.  I ate supper but it did not sit well and it was about half of the portions...didn't eat snacks today just couldn't eat.  Tonight I have the polar opposite of my previous lower end issues.  Is it just the heat doing this?  Couldn't go to the gym cause I was already light headed.  One of the higher management at my work has had gastric bypass and said to keep Gatorade on hand.  Ever time I try to do something and break a little sweat then I wanna hurl.  Besides the great Gatorade tip is there any other tips that you wonderful readers could send my way.  I am trying to adapt to this new me, new body, new feeling.  Apparently I am not handling heat or exerting energy very well. I am hoping that this is not how my summer is gonna be....I finally feel good and wanna walk, do things and be outside and I feel like poop!  I am so tired tonight.  My central air did not get installed today so I am hoping it is tomorrow as it is supposed to be 32 degrees celsius....with humidex.....HOT HOT HOT!  I did NOT sleep well last night do to the heat and stickiness....was up at 3:30am and am still standing...or sitting.  I am not in a great mood though and am a little frustrated with all of the above mentioned crap.  I am kind of tired now but still feel really yucky.  Nausau and light headedness seem to be following me like a stalker.  My abundance of energy is dwindling like a fire dwindles to a spark then snuffs out.  I don't really have much else to say today other than I wish I was feeling better.  Hope it doesn't last and if anyone has experienced this please let me know how you handled it and how soon it went away.  Good night friends.
Steph

DAY FORTY FOUR - DOES EVERYTHING I DO HAVE TO TAKE SO MUCH EFFORT?

Today the sun shone for a few hours ....must of heard my warning yesterday and thought better of ticking me off!  My friend came over again today and her and I made a big dent in the ground breaking stuff.  Lots of digging, weeding and cultivating.  Geoff was able to get the scrap wood cut up and put away.  I have one of the shed doors fully painted - 2 coats both sides and the clear coat sealer on top of that done and dried.  I was able to get the front side of the second door painted with 2 coats so that means tomorrow I will need to paint the back side of the door- 2 coats and wait till it is completely dry and paint on the clear coat.  Then the doors are ready to be hung....lol so much fun.  Anyways, last trip to the surgeon I had lost between 8.5 and 9.5 lbs (depends which doctor's scale is being used) in which he was pleased (this was last Wednesday).  He said a few things at this appointment which I didn't really think was seriously important just tucked away for good measure....wrong!  He said "DO NOT SWEAT!"  I said "But I live in Ontario and it's the end of May" he didn't find it funny but neither did I.  Thank God central air conditioning is being installed tomorrow or I might be in big trouble. He also said that hair loss would start to happen at about 3 months to 8 months but not to panic I would not go bald!  Ok this is more concerning but he said it would stabalize.  He said that once hair loss occurs then weight loss will be more challenging.  He said that my weight reduction will be directly reflected in my effort.  Well, I determined then and there that Monday May 30 was my first day back to the gym!  Oh yeah baby!  Except I now understand what he meant by don't sweat.  I worked for about 15 - 20 mins shovelling, hoeing, and raking at the back garden when the sweat broke out....very shortly after that I had to sit down cause things started spinning and nausea was visiting.  Will this happen everytime I exert some energy?  Sat and rested for awhile then did a few other thing and went back at it...same deal.  I am not happy with this new revelation.  I drank my ice tea, I drank water but I am guessing it wasn't enough.  How do you drink more when you are so full! Someone please enlighten me.  So after all of that I am a little nervous about the gym.  I think I will go but just start slow....doctor said to start with treadmill or eliptical and no weights yet so thats what I will do.  Still have way more yard stuff to get done but it is coming along.  Stepped on the scale today and am done another 4.8 lbs since last Wednesday.  Woo hoo, bring on the summer!  Oh and the greatest thing for today is my hot tub is filled and is up to perfect temperature!  Time to hot tub!
Steph

Day Forty Three - Summer, Summer Where For Art Thou?

 Alright, if you are a follower of my blog you will have previous knowledge to the fact that my life is a little insane, I have so much on my plate that I could snap any day and that today was the day I had to get a crap load of stuff done around the house, perticularily outside.  I stepped out my back door at 6:17 am this morning and have just come in now...8:30pm.  Again I have to say that I have the world's best Dad.  That guy weed wacked, raked, dug, carried garbage, loaded a trailer to go to the dump and left to drive my daughter to work, make doors for my shed and take my son to get his hair cut.  He really is a superman in disguise!  Did I mention that he is going to be 80 years old...thats right folks the man will be 80 in January 2012.  I had a friend come over and help too.  So I would say 3/4 of work that needed to get done happened.  We ran into some troubled areas that caused delays.....that is my polite way of saying that something always freaking goes wrong!!!!!!  Geoff tried to start the weed wacker, lol, it sparked and smoked so much I could see it from the deck and he was at the other end of the yard.  Needless to say it went into the trailer that is marked for the dump.  Then the power washer wouldn't work, the garden hose broke, my clothes line broke, I drilled into my thumb....this list could go on and on.
Had to make a trip to Home Depot again to pick up some supplies to help us carry on, my dad brought his weed wacker but ran out of the twine.  Let's talk about the weather now!  All week long the forecast has said warm and sunny for Saturday. Last night it changes....now the weather report is cloudy, cool with a chance of rain.  Ok since when is the damn report ever right........TODAY!!!!! Oh yeah, I wore a fall fleece jacket all flipping day cause I was freezing!  Everytime I wanted to rake or do something it was spitting.  The one and only time we saw the sun all day was when we were in Home Depot and coming out I said to my friend "Great, sunny now wont be when we get home" and it wasn't!!!!  The sun had totally disappeared by the time we drove home.....a big 10 minute drive if that.  Does the big guy up above need to be reminded how the seasons go....spring, summer, fall and winter!!!!  We had a yuk spring and now it's supposed to be summer!  We are having fall weather....like October rainy crap!  It's cold and not nice and it is making me very grumpy and very sore.  This damp weather is killing my leg.  The pain is becoming unbearable and I cannot take anything at this point.  I am not a happy camper!  Please summer come visit....I need to get some stuff done and I cannot without your help!  If you do not want to help well too damn bad!  This is going to become a hostile situation soon.  This is the last warning......Let the sun shine or else!
Steph

Day Forty Two - It's My Party and I Will Cry If I Wanna!

My freaking life is too busy, too much ....drive here, drive there, cook, clean, grocery shop, make sure bills are paid, get everything else organized....I am now finally able to be home on a Friday night for the first time to relax.  I left work at 2:30pm today and have been on the go since. I am so friggin tired I could cry...no wait I already did that!  Now for everyone that happens to know me well they will say that it is a rare sight to see me shed a tear so here's a great big hint.....I am so DAMN OVERWHELMED right now I think I am going insane.  My husband is still off work, there is numerous things that need to be done around the house inside and out. Geoff cannot use his right hand which by the way is his predominate hand therefore he doesn do much!!  Now the already massive list of things in which I do has just become way  bigger.  Thank God for my dad!  At 79 years old he has come helped clean the yard, trip the juniper tree, weed wack and a  few other chores as well as removed the rotted doors from my rotting shed.  Took them to his friends place where he and his friend replicated them but with much better wood and put them together in a far superior manner.  The doors will stand far longer than the rest of the shed!!!  Then to top things off my daughters bank account was hacked, but when she called the bank and explained what happened they more or less accused her of fraud and told her they were launching an investigation and she would be charged with fraud if they found out she was making this up or attempting fraud.  I had to explain what the hell they meant before she understood it all.  I had it out with the lady (use this term loosely) on the phone saying we live in a "free" country and the way it goes is innocent to proven guilty.  What the hell is going on when a 15 year old calls the bank for help and gets reemed out like she is a criminal.  I don't understand this world.  Then on to the grocery store (which I generally refuse to do on a Friday night) but I have a long list of chores to accomplish tomorrow therefore no time for groceries.  I have absolutely no patience for stupidity today....In fact after the flipping week I had at work and dealing with the multiple levels of stupidity that speak to me on a daily basis....I am all tapped out for patience.  I fear my children and my husband could be in big trouble this weekend.  Who swings open a freezer door at the last minute when they are not in front of it ...but you are?  Stupid Stupid people or who pulls a can from the bottom of the display!!!! Morons!!!!!  The young lady that was our cashier literally tossed my loaf of bread and the carton of eggs.  Had to open the eggs to make sure they were in one piece....who does that crap?  Finally I get out of that freaking zoo, but hey I need to go to Home Depot. Now here's a store where all the smart people work and shop on Friday nights......NOT!  I swear I was getting road rage with my cart....someone was gonna get pulled over and punched out!  Ignorance is no saviour and I don't care that you didn't know.  Get a grip, use your damn head for more than a hat rack!!!  Stupidity pisses me off!  So I had a lovely person stop me this week to tell me they heard I had undergone surgery for weight loss and they wanted to know if it had worked and if I had lost any weight!  I simple smiled and carried on with exactly what I was doing.  The next wonderful wacky person that came to speak to me spoke at me while looking at a friend and ever so politely said" fruit is such a good idea, good for everyone: the reply from my friend was "yes, it was something Stephanie could it" and the response to that was " Yes, when you are her size you should be eating fruit and lay off the sweets."   OH YEAH!!!!! That's my stupid moment of the week .....I think I might develope an award!  Isn't that one great.  Ok I never was a sweet eater, and I have always eaten fruit.  I can bake up a storm but I almost never touch it previous to my surgery now I never touch it!  As for my size ....I am proud to be down 5 to 6 sizes and doing and feeling great.  If your glasses are not working correctly and you cannot see the massive weight loss then it is your problem not mine.  I am on my way to a happy health long life. If you are too dumb to know what and when to say things then here is my tip for you: it came from my dad.....if you don't have anything nice to say DON'T say anything at all!  Please read and take heed!
Steph

Day Forty One- Gardening Lesson 101

Hey friends so very sorry that there has been no blog for 2 days but I have  been crazy busy from early in the morning to late at night....too tired to write ....too tired to think.  I absolutely am tired of the freaking rain that we have in Ontario right now....I moved bad from BC cause I didn't like it when it rained everyday.  So tonight the rain ceased for a few hours so I did some planting in my planter boxes.  I am excited to see my flowers and veggies start to grow....always makes me feel good that I was able to have something bloom and produce a flower or fruit.  Well, then my dad came over to help us clean the yard...now this is a bit of a chore as there is lots of stuff...ok CRAP!  That the previous owner left, our shed is falling apart because the morons made it with press wood and we all know what happens to press board when it gets wet right!!!  They certainly did not seal it with the proper coating to repel the rain and water.  Now it is rotten, the door, the floor, the walls, the roof....get the picture.  So the garbage around the yard is insane too....theirs and ours.  We have lived here 3 years but it was one disaster after another.  Moving day, gas leak evaculated the neighbours and the house until it was cleared by the gas company.  Three weeks after moving in the roofer walking the roof to check it fell throught....new roof!!!!  3 months after moving in pipe broke in the ceiling of the basement bathroom.....10000.00 in damage!  Flooded the entire basement, ruined walls, floors etc.  Then there was car accidents and work injuries and more and more and more!  So we haven't had a lot of time to work on the yard and Geoff still can't work on the yard but it has to get done as it is looking terrible and if drainage stone and patio stones don't get put down the mud and water is going to overtake everything.  My hot tub is empty and needs to be washed down and refilled along with putting the clothes line back up and cleaning out the shed.  Mowed the lawn tonight, need to rake and weed wack!  I hate dandelions!!!!  Dog terds are picked up and removed....trailer half filled with garbage to go to the dump! Anyways, got some planting done, dad showed me what is weeds and what isnt' in my front flower bed and how to trim back my plant that is overtaking my flowerbed.  Dad's friend is a horticulturist and is helping me with my garden.  My new garden will be the wave of the future......raised gardens....at arm level ....no bending to weed, far less weeds and no worry for ground hogs, bunnies etc.  Got lots to do on the weekend yet but gotta go to bed now.
More gardening lessons to come...good night.
ps saw the surgeon yesterday and he was very pleased!  Said I am doing fabulously and am above average in weight lose...down another 9 or so lbs.
Steph

Day Thirty Eight - Oh the Things I have seen!

 Oh the things I have seen over these thirty seven years......some have brought happiness some have brought tears, some foster warmth in my heart, some make fears start.  Oh the things I have seen from in my car and from afar.  In Northern Ontario was the momma bear and her cubs watching the highway from up on a rock.  There heads went side to side as they watched each passing ride.  From the mountains of BC, I watched the goat jumps from ledge to ledge, up to the mountain top they went with a hop, hop,hop.  Watching our aboriginal friends pow wow and grand cook out, cooking on an open fire, salmon in maple syrup and cornbread in a pan, one with earth spirit and the land.  Oh the things I have seen from the native beautiful art to the God's beautiful morning start.  I have seen the whales in the seas, beautiful birds in the trees.  I have watched the glorious blue sky with cloud that look like marshmallow fluff then a gust of wind turns them into other stuff.  Oh the things I have seen.....homeless children on the street in Philly ...thin little jacket on a night that was so chilly.  Teenage addicts, struggling for their daily needs, 9/11 victims with extreme bleeds.  Space shuttles that have exploded, children carrying guns that were loaded.  Hijacked planes, bombers that were insane.  Las Vegas, the casinos & lights.....many many loney nights.  Oh the things I have seen.....my children's new born faces, new friends from many different races.  Foods from coast to coast, lobster, crab, moose and roast.  Maple syrup from Quebec, spuds from PEI, berries from Saskatoon, Nunavut's complete darkness at noon.  The milky way, a perfect sunny day, redwood trees big enough to drive through, Niagara Falls in the shape of a horseshoe.  Hail a big as golf balls..........weddings in the most beautiful of halls.  Starry nights, stupid bar fights, pretty fireworks....obnxious jerks.  Vandictive disturbed ex wives, try so hard to ruin lives, have no success just help solidify closeness!  Divorce, and children hurt.....unnecessary pain, horrid lies but the thing that will always remain....the love.  Oh the things I have seen....God's gracious love, heaven sent streaming from above!  The smile on the childs face that was pulled from a fire, the unemployed person who lost hope that they would ever be hired.  The woman that finds the right one, a mother that has found her lost son, the joy from the military soldier that has returned from afar, the family that walks away from a totalled car!  Oh the thing that I have seen.....surgeries that help weight lose and give a second chance, new medications that let the young lady live to have a romance.  I would not be me if I had not seen all of these different things, so now my heart sings as I say many thanks to all that wished me Happy Birthday Day!  Now there is one more strange strange thing that I have seen....on top of a car in working order it sat,  with TP,magazines and a chair, the sign read "Women's Washroom".....can you imagine that....bare all and stare was what I could think...oh God where is the sink!  To my dear friends....what the heck...I think you all might be redneck!
Steph

Day Thirty Seven - Thirty Seven Tomorrow!

Well folks it is another lovely day her is Ontario Canada!  and I am off to yet another bbq!  I once again have packed myself a cooler bag with all my wants and needs fulfilled within.  I have cooked up, prepared and baked an abundance of goodies for everyone to partake of ....but me,but I am good with it.  I sat right beside the bbq last night where a massive roast slow cooked, onion garlic baked pototoes roasted away, huge sausages sizzled and 3 lb steaks grilled.  It all smelled delicious and looked fabulous but I was happy with my afternoon snack: v8 to go my dinner: pototoes, veggies and grilled chicken along with my nestea ice tea(diet) singles that I drank.  I guess the point I am making is that tomorrow I will be thirty seven and for most of my life things have been centred around food.  I grew up in a Pentecostal church and there is always food!  Every event has fabulous foods at it.  Now I am learning that I don't have to centre everything around food at least not for me and that there is far more to life itself than eating.  Funny I am learning, I guess you can teach an ole dog new tricks!  I am impressed with myself as I half you through our Canadian Holiday weekend and the food aspect of it really hasn't bothered me....yet!  I usually would have gone to bbq #1 and eaten until I felt sick, sampling a bit of everything.....especially the roast beef and steaks.  Then bbq #2 I would have sampled a bit more food still feeling full and sick but still shovelling it in my yap.  Starting again the next day I would have done the same thing....thinking it's ok next week I will watch what I eat to make up for this splurge.   Next week never came or if it did I would feel that I did so well that I could splurge again.  This is a bad catch 22 in everyday life....If we take 3 steps ahead and 5 steps back everytime we do something will we ever get ahead?  Absolutely not!  Remember to be strong friends,  you are in this for you...you alone, your health, your welfare....yes it might help others, friends & family included but ultimately it is all about you!  Take good care of you!
Tootles
Steph

Day Thirty Six - Long Weekends, BBQ's & Friends!

 The long weekend has finally arrived for all my Canadian friends and we have finally found the sunshine.  It is 10:30am and it is over 20 degrees Celsius already.  Bring on the heat and the sun!  Now a long weekend means different things to everyone but the general consensus is food, fun and friends.  I made 3 different salads last night, a lemon trifle, cooked potatoes and marinated meat for kabobs tomorrow and am working on peanut butter cookies right now.  I still have a few things to put together before we head out the door to start our bbq travel weekend but that's ok.  I have also packaged a cooler bag with my allowed food choices hidden within in.  I don't think it will be a big issue....I love to cook and watch others enjoy the food I have prepared.  I will enjoy the food that I have made for myself.  I am so happy that the sun has finally decided to make an appearance as I was getting a little disturbed by the gloomy grey rainy days.  I also managed to do some planting and hung out two hanging baskets on my front porch.  The backyard is looking better as Geoff finally was able to get the grass cut, Monday my brother is coming to help me remove a cedar bush ...roots and all.  Tuesday, Adam is coming to install my central air conditioning system. Adam is the son of some dear friends and a wonderful guy.  I have watched Adam grow up into a amazing young man and am very proud of him and his business (heating and air conditioning).  ok now I am getting ticked off I made peanut butter cookies the same way I make them every time and they are burning on the outside and not cooking on the inside....how can this be?   Is it Wacky Wednesday?  I have tons of stuff to do yet today so the blog won't be very long....oh I did get to plant my indoor tomato plants so they can start and then I will transfer them outside later.  Hopefully they will all take...I did 12 little plants of beefsteak tomatoes.  Cant wait to start planting my garden, carrots, peas, tomatoes, green onions, turnip, peppers, yellow beans...hopefully zucchini.  I hope to get a good start this weekend but who knows.  I will take it one day at a time.  Enjoy your weekend folks, be safe and don't drink and drive....arrive alive!
Steph

Day Thirty Five - The Rule of Three!

Did you know that there is a rule of three? I didn't really until today.  Let's start with the big ones: a person can only go 3 weeks without food: 3 days without water and 3 minutes without oxygen.  Then there are the rules of three for robotics, memory, law, writing, magic, wizardry, compounding medications, and playing cards.  Now there is the real ones we use in every day life: 3 strikes you are out, 3 colours in a traffic light, 3 rings to answer a phone, 3 number sections to a phone number, 3 lemons in a pitcher of water, 3 layers in a trifle, 3 pulls to start a lawn mower, and so many many many more.  Every package at work today had 3 or 6 cases involved, I had three sharpened pencils out on my desk, I had three phone calls from my mom......and the day continued.  I began to chuckle to myself when the bowel band symphany struck a cord and touted 3 distinct times while my level of reddness brightened by 3 shades.  I cooked three salads tonight: pasta ham salad, corn salad, and a bean salad (dip).  I made a 3 layer lemon trife, put in 3 loads of laundry, fed my 3 dogs, and sat down for just 3 minutes to rest!  The next 3 days are going to be packed full of fun.  We have 3 bbq's to attend, all in a 3 mile radius.  I just watched Chef Ramsay pick us 3 dead mice in a kitchen in New Orleans.  I realized that I am wearing 3 rings, 3 colours of eye shadown, and pieces of clothing.  I have 3 friends online, my phone has just rang 3 times , with 3 differrent people calling, I have three more things to complete before I can sit down for the evening.  Now there are wonderful things that come in threes also, 3 good friends, 3 minutes of silence, 3 peanut butter cups in a package, 3 eggs in an omlette, 3 cups of cheddar in macorni and cheese, 3 cheese pasta....3 words...I Love You!  I think that the rule of 3 has worn itself out today....and now I need to go as I have used up my 3 minutes of down time.  The blog is small and not a usual chat but this is what I have.
Have fantastic weekend enjoy the weather and the holiday for my Canadian friends.
Ciao
Steph

Day Thirty Three - Wierd Warped Wacky Wednesday!

Have you every had one of those days that you wonder if you somehow jumped or got bumped into a alternated wierd universe?  Today was one of those days.  I wasn't suppose to go into work for 6am today so I slept in and left late but somehow I still arrived at work on time.  The computer system we work on was supposed to be down till 6:30am but it was up and running by the time I logged in and got my work and headed back to my desk.....weird.  One of our IT guys came by to say hi and left to go read my blog....his laugh is such a belly laugh that I just laugh seeing him laugh.  I printed some documents and went to the printer ...not once but twice and nothing was there.  I felt the twinge and headed for the washroom.  Well, it was a fake out twinge cause it was a no go!  I watched the line of ants marching in my favourite stall....I still don't understand how there is ants in the washroom, where they are coming from and how....it's still friggin cold here!  Finally my day was over and I had to head to the Ministry of Transportation to get my sticker for my plates.  I pulled out my folder with my ownership and insurance, but my insurance was not there!  Yep, weird cause the insurance slip from 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 were all there except for 2011.  Had to call the insurance broker go in and get a temporary slip to take with me to get my stickers.  Where in the world did my insurance slip go?  Then to the bank machine at PC.  Now I put my card in do what I need to do and say done.....but the darn card just won't come out....oh yeah wacky wacky....the freakin' machine was gonna eat my bank card. Finally the stupid card came out just enough that I could get my finger nails on it and pull it out.  What the heck is happening today?  I just wanted to go home, but as I left the store I was in there was a huge crash.....oh yes, the entire display of ketchup bottles did a "smackdown" on the ground.  Today was just getting worse.  My daughter in the mean time walked from my parent's home to the gym, then to Walmart, then she asked if she could walk home, right in the middle of me dealing with food on the stove & in the oven, dogs barking like crazy, my dad his friend and Geoff in the back yard attempting to remove the tarps from around the hot tub gazebo.  Now it is funny cause Geoff can't use his right hand, my dad is gonna be 80 and the friend is 60.  The drill wasn't working right or one of the guys used it too fast and rounded out the screw heads, then broke the bit.  The wood slats and other pieces were getting broken faster than they were coming down.  A board with a screw went through the hot tub lid.....I was going insane, but wait then the phone rang with my mother yelling about my daughter walking all the way to my house(which was closer for her to walk then my moms).  I called my friend who was coming for dinner to see if she could pick up my daughter on the way here, which she did but my darling child had her drive all the way back to my parents home.  Was anything gonna go right today?  The guys finished what they could outside and they were on their way, I pulled supper out of the oven and attempted to get it ready when my intelligent husband so kindy said he was having a tv dinner.  What the heck?  I cooked and got everything ready and he wants a gross tv dinner....in which is small and he complained about the food the entire time anyways.  He ate it and then had the dinner I made cause he was still hungry.....so there "hungry man dinners".  I just got to sit down and rest when my mind did one of those wacky wondering moments and all I could think about was thing that I would like to do again or what they would have been like being thin.  Is that weird?  I totally wondered about what would have been different at my wedding if I was thinner.  How nice it would be to do again thin.  Am I going crazy?  I thought about the hikes I took in the mountains in BC and how much better they would have been if I was not out of breathe and tired.  My trip to Cuba.....what it would have been like as a thinner person travelling.  I will do that one again some day.  My phone rang and shocked me into existance....the person at the other end asked for me and asked a few questions in which I informed him was not any of his business and when I said I wanted to speak to his supervisor he hung up....no problem got that one covered.  I found a number and made my own call and asked my own questions...someone is in trouble and it's not me. Then I remember some of my coworkers telling me after they read my blog that they too had washroom etiquette issues and today they witnessed people going into the washroom doing their thing and leaving without washing their hands.  What IN THE HECK is that?  I have to touch the door, and the handle that you touched going out with your yuk on it......don't be lazy or so damn gross wash your flippin' hands.  I was so grossed out.....talk about using hand sanitizer like crazy when I got into my car after hearing that.  Today has been a day that I am just about done with....just a few more hours then I can go to bed.  Let's hope that nothing weird or weirder will happen and I can end this Wacky Wednesday in a calm peaceful way.
Steph

Day Thirty Two - Things you should NOT do in the dark!

Went to my place of employment, sat at my desk and worked till my brain was spent!  The weather is making me feel dead, I really just wanted to go back to bed. I am pretty sure there is too much time, as I am begin this stupid rythme. Been praying for some "skittles"  (readers you will understand).  I seem to have an increasing ....let's say pressure building in my lower body.  This morning I had bran for breakfast and waited.  I was hoping that it coupled with the other remedies I would find some "southern" comfort!  Forty Five minutes and then the "twinge" locked my computer and headed for the symphony hall!  Now our ladies room lights work on motion sensors.  Entering the washroom the lights turned on...thanking God quietly for small favours as this meant I was the only one in there I headed for my favourite fartherest stall.  Now the timer for the lights is usually 10 minutes, but guess what ....not this time.  I no sooner dropped my pants, which was too near the marching ants (why is there ants is the ladies room when it is freezing out?) the room went  dark which cued the damn orchestra and off we went.  Now I already have issues with public washrooms and doing the things I need to do when people are around, or talking, or right beside me....but apparently I cannot do those things in the dark.  Looked in my purse for a lighter to spark (I carry one for the hubby not me) but oh no.  Banged my damn funny bone as I used the light on my phone.  My bowel band buddies were showing up one by one.....and no no I was not having any fun.  The tuba was first follwed by the trombone with a burst.  My nerves by now are totally shot and I was getting sweaty and hot.  I sat in the crapper thinking of things that would make me happier and my love of Dr Seuss is making me sound like a silly goose unfortunately my derriere sounds like a dying moose!  As the minutes ticked by I thought for sure I was gonna cry.  Couldn't even see my own hand but it wasn't slowing down the band.  Finally I heard a ladies voice and the lights appeared now not by my choice, as I had wished for light I was now trying to hold my butt tight!  I tried I did with all my might but it was a losing fight.  Tamborines and symbols chimed along as the "skittles" played the "plop plop" splash song.  I gave up trying to keep things shut and released the cheeks of my butt.  I was embarrassed so much but as such...I was so happy to poop that I ended the symphony with a "whoop whoop"! Now I am happy to say that finally today I was able to go....for I feared if I didn't something was gonna blow! Now I now this might sound funny talking about all this personal stuff but if I needed to laugh as it was getting kinda rough.  Some people might think I am crazy as a fruit loop making this blog a rythme about poop.  Only my GBS friends will underrstand and would give me a high five with the swing of a hand.  I think that most of us have had this issue ......cashmere is a nice soft tissue! I know I am not the only one but why not have a little fun.  I am glad I finally got to release  now I can step back on the scale and hopefully see the weight decrease.  I wish you all well and I know you will laugh and tell, all those friends that you know about this blog for the reader with a good cup of joe.
Steph

Day Thirty One - My Give A Damn Is Broken!

 I am not a easily depressed person nor do I get ruffled too easily, but I gotta say I am having a difficult time with the friggin weather in Ontario right now.  May 2-4(Victoria Day - stat holiday for my friends to the South) on the way rotten cold rainy ridiculous weather.  Last Friday it was 28 degrees celcius or 82.4 F for all my American friends.  Today is 6 C or 42.8 F.  I am freezing as it is and the darn weather is not helping me.  I am itching to get outside but it just keeps raining.  The dampening of the earth is dampening my mood!  With my mood being in the ....toilet for lack of a better word it seems to spill over into all the aspects of my life including my weight reduction journey.  Today I just don't seem to care about how much I have lost or what damn size I am at! I've tried to focus on my planning for meals but even that I can't get into....that's bad for me cause if anything gonna make me focus and be happy it's food!  I am definitely grumpy.  Snappy with the hubby, but sometimes he deserves it cause he just does dumb stuff that irritates me.....for example.  I pulled in the driveway today, looked to the end at my gate that was open, with the lock and key in the lock hanging on the cross bar for the lock.  Who does the crap?  It made me so mad!  I know it might not seem like alot to you guys but it really was to me.  Then lets chat about the brillant things people say....."oh Steph, you look good..how much have you lost" I replied and the next statement was "Oh, you were always covered up before I didn't realize you were that big"!  I laughed and laughed cause at that very moment if I didn't I was pretty sure my mouth was going to shift into action mode and the language and/or comments that would flow forth could probably jeopardize my job.  I smiled and walked casually away thinking some very interesting thoughts....wannna hint: involved was a female dog, a large sow, a chainsaw and a huge pile of cow dung and an unbelievable urge to hurl something(one) into it and laugh some more!  But again now as I sit here and write this I just done care who says what or does what anymore.  I guess I need to get going and make some supper for my hubby or at least get something for myself.  I need to finish some projects I am working on and they just don't seem important or worth my effort right now either.  Am I having a bad day....totally.  Will this continue .....I hope not!  Do I care right now.....I think so but then again maybe not!  Someone say something that will cheer me up....cause I think my give a damn is broken!
Steph

Day Thirty - Gone to the Dogs!

The saying "Gone To The Dogs" is an idiomthat refers to if something has gone to the dogs, it has gone badly wrong and lost all the good things it had according to www.useingenglish.com.  Now I guess it's all in how you view the situation.  The way I am viewing it is ...it has truly gone to the dogs.....all of it....food that is.  Today being my Day 30 post op I have made lunches, dinners, baked cookies and yes made food for the dogs.  I had borrowed a dog food cookbook from a coworker and my one dog needs to gain a little weight so I photocopied so recipes for the dogs.  Now the kicker is all of the recipes could be consumed by humans and in fact most of the recipes would have the dogs eating far better than I.  One of the recipes calls for potatoes, rice, fillets of salmon, dill, and a creamy sauce.....sounds like a damn gourment dinner and one that I am absolutely not sharing with my dog.  Don't get me wrong I love animals and I love my dogs but when they start having better dinners than me....I gotta draw a line.  While I was doing so grocery shopping today I picked up some chicken hearts and gizzards ( I don't feel that bad then cause I would never ever eat those things even though I know some people do) and made them a dinner.  It was the meat, potatoes, carrots, gravy and oatmeal.  I had carrots and potatoes that had to be used up anyways but it was funny smelling something that smelled great but I knew was for the dogs.  Dishing up the food for them was even funnier.  I totally was laughing out loud ....my family thought I was crazy and maybe so....but the dogs eat more than I do and with so gravies and sauce and lots of carbs.  Am I the saddest person in the world to be envious of a dog?  It's ok I know I am....that's why I was laughing.  I sat down to think  about what I was going to write for todays blog and watched my muskoka chair blow off my front porch.  I made a comment about the weather being crappy and the whole weekend "gone to the dogs"!  It hit me as if the muskoka chair had hit me.....the blog title needed to be "gone to the dogs".  Now I am serious about the weather having "gone to the dogs" but as for the food I am just joking.  I won't be sharing my salmon fillets with my dogs but I will allow them to share my fruits & vegetables.  I am quite happy with my food that I am eating now and even with the little amounts as I am satisfied and often too full to complete the amounts.  Today I was able to have my poached egg that I have been looking forward too.  I am soon going to eat my chicken bacon, low fat cheese quesadilla for lunch.  I really loved the chicken bacon too.  All was good with a little salsa on the side.  So even though today things have "gone to the dogs" all is not lost and I am still in good spirits.  Just strolling along the path of my journey through my new life.
Steph

Day Twenty Nine - I'm Doing Alright!

 I don't know how many of you readers are country musics fans but I am.  I love it all....old country, new country, rock a billy country...you name I like it.  My title is taken from the JoDee Messina song "I'm Alright".  Tomorrow is my thirty day, one month post op.  I am unsure where my weight is at as I have not stepped on the scale (need to figure out what the heck is wrong with it) so I can have an accurate weight.  Let's recap, Had surgery April 15th, was home April 18th.  Have not had any pain or problems since, well except the "Skittles" issue which I hope is being resolved.  I went back to work last week and am doing well.  Was a little tired the first two day but seem to be doing ok now.  Have been introduced to foods again without a problem.  I know many friends that have had some issues with GBS but I have not.  I feel the best I have in years.  Stairs seem to be easier to go up and down, I can bend over and grab my purse of the floor with ease, doing up shoes is much better, clothes fit that haven't in years. I am happier than I have been in years because I feel well, I have energy and I am encouraged ....as opposed to being discouraged all the time.  When someone lives in defeat they have no energy or will power to pull themselves out of the mud....they are stuck right there...mud it dries and hardens and becomes like cement.  Can you get out of cement? I can't ....having had GBS is like having a great big cement drill that have cracked the hold the cement has had on me.  I am not stuck in the mud anymore because I am not defeated....I have hope and encouragement.  There is progress and success.  I know that many many people that I have spoken with that have also had the surgery say it is the best decision they have ever made even if they have had problems or set backs.  I must say I agree.  GBS is the best thing I have ever done!  I do not regret any part of it.  Just like this blog, I don't regret writing anything....whether it is me just venting, me being silly, or me sharing knowledge.  I believe that everything has a time and a place and that someone somewhere is reading whatever I have written and it is speaking to them, to their need at that very moment.  I don't even regret the flack that I have taken from some people or the off comments that are made to my face or behind my back.  They all service a purpose!  I would not be me without having something to push me in the right direction.  Direction is an important thing...right, left, up, down ....which way?  If we don't know the way we are going then we end up lost!  I know my way....I am on the right road.  Do you know your way?  What road of life are you taking?  Have you made a wrong turn?  I have made several wrong turns throughout my life but the best thing is we can make a U turn and head back in the right direction!  So when someone asks me "How I am doing" and I pause with a smile and say "Well, I guess I'm doing alrigh" it is because I know what and where I have come from and yes, I am doing alright!
Steph

Day Twenty Eight _ It's Raining, It's Pouring and I am still ignoring!

 It was absolutely beautiful when I exited my employment's large building at 2pm this afternoon.  I had the windows down, sun in my face and wind in my hair it was all good!  I drove to Hamilton went into a meeting with the sun beaming and just a sense of "awwww it's finally nice weather" to finishe my meeting and come out to grey, hazed over ....rainy crap!  I hate when it goes from beautiful to crap because my mood goes from beautiful to crap in roughly the same speed.  I drove home with my 12 year old son wanting to argue about every darn thing.  Sky is blue...nope, I know mom its not!  Yeah that's just about how every darn conversation went.  So my crap mood went to super irritable mood within my hour drive.  Now by the time I deposited my son at my parents place and picked up my daughter....she had plans for me.....oh yes, trip to my favourite place...the mall and on a Friday night...oh joy!  So I directed Geoff to park in the back near an entrance that I thought was close to where we needed to go, but I was wrong so I had to walk right through the very full food court right at supper time, with everyone eating plates of food that looks and smells so good .... did I mention I was oh about an hour and a half late eating my supper by now.  So through the food court and around the mall we go....we get where we need to be and the one person that can help us is ....yes, on the phone!  It doesn't really sound like a business call but he continues his conversation.  What the heck happened to customer service?!  I have seen a few things lately that makes me shutter.  I was trained by the Retail Council of Canada in customer service and management and managed retail stores.....the way some of these employees treat the customers they would have been fired by me instantly!  Now once he removed his ear from the phone  he really was a nice young man that was very knowledgable and quite helpful to us.  It isn't a good way to start a sale totally ticking the customer off!  Finally got out of the darn mall and did some quick banking and headed home in the crap weather.  Can you tell how thrilled I am about the rain ...again!  I am so hungry by the time I get home that I felt sick trying to eat...so I have only had a few bites of my supper.  Oh yes, the ignoring part of the blog title....when you haven't seen someone for a length of time, like 4 weeks and you know they were away for a health related reason, lets say like gastric bypass surgery what is the first thing you say to them?  I have had "wow, you look amazing", "oh my  you can really see the weight loss" "holy crap, how much did you lose" even "lets get a good look at ya" but "stand up so I can see you" was one I got which isn't bad but it was followed by a "How much did you lose" which again is ok.  When I responded with my amount of weight reduction and size decline it was followed with a " oh, it's not really noticeable"  I am not generally a lady that is rendered speechless but there is always a first ..... with a dumb founded deer in the headlight kinda look I think I said "gee thanks".   Ok so my thought on this is......first: who the heck says that to anyone!  Second: Even if you think that you don't say that crap! Third: I am not a huge vain person but damn I know that I see the weight decreasing and so does everyone else.....do you need glasses or coke bottles?  My entire life someone has always slammed me for being heavy, even people that were as big or bigger than me mocked my weight ( didn't say they were smart people) but now for the first time in my life I feel good, I am happy (not like when on other diet plans of misery) and some "buttclown" has to open their "yaktrap" to spill out contempt.  Well, I will not allow it to upset me.....in fact I had a huge laugh about it with some friends at lunch!  I will just continue to ignore the ignoramus' that are around me as I have done for many many years!  Have a wonderful weekend folks and don't get caught in the rain!
Cheers
Steph

Day Twenty Seven- Skittles....A rainbow of .....

 As I have previously said in prior blogs I am thrilled to be able to eat real food again, but here's the catch.  The more I eat the more constipated I become.  Now the nurse and dietician I work with said it is totally normal for most people who have had this surgery.  They have suggested I increase my water....this is already an issue but sure why not.  Their next suggestion is glycerin suppositories......always fun, right!  The third suggestion is taking a stool softener....now they only recommend one so off to Shopper's Drug Mart I go to find Docusate Sodium.  Well they conveniently popped in the fact that if I take the stool softener I have to increase my water intake again by almost 1 litre.  Did I mention that the water intake is already a problem?  I had a few All Bran Buds for a snack this afternoon to try to help things along.  I have been taking the stool softener for 3 days and well, it just isn't removing or should I say moving the problem.  I work from 6am till 2pm most days and of course as I am trying to get things finished up for the day I feel the twinge.  Come on, everyone knows what I am talking about!  You know the twinge....little gurgle, slight discomfort in the bowel and a twinge of oh oh in the hind quarters!  Well, at exactly 1:25 the twinge attacked.  I was up and out of my seat like a rocketship being launched.  I made my "bee" line (previous blog joke) for the ladies facilities.  Entering the washroom with a quick scan and a sigh of relief as no one was in there but me.  I headed quickly for the very last stall (remember the rules of washroom etiquette) locked myself in and sat in anticipation.  Waiting is not a strong point for me!  I waited and waited and waited some more.  I felt the twinge it was there....but nothing.  Now one of the things the nurse insisted is I cannot under any circumstance strain so for lack of better wording no pushing! So I waited some more!  Now much to my horror there is now people in the washroom and they are in stalls having a friggin conversation! (More bad washroom etiquette).  This already makes me tense but right at that very moment the "Bowel Band" struck up a tune!  Oh yeah it was a real hummer!  The passing of gas was like a gale force wind that whirled through the ladies room. Well gotta tell ya my feet flew off the floor and up on the door like a shot.  No one was gonna see my feet ( washroom etiquette again).  I really had thought this problem had disappear, "butt" I was wrong!  So since my lower end was making music I figured that things were going to work.....so I waited plus I needed time for the red hue in my face to lighten.  Now the ladies conversation had a long pause as my musical instrument played on!  Then the embarrassment of the "plop, plop, plop,plop"  ....oh no, there was no way the red hue was lightening in fact I was sure it was deepening into a beautiful red glow.  I again waited till the washroom was cleared and made my stealth trek back to my desk.  A coworker asked if I was ok....knowing this person a littel better than others I explained my "no go" situation.  Somehow the conversation got around to "how much did you go".  Don't quote this but I think my answer was " it came out like Skittles and about a handful".  Now I just want to say sorry to all those that eat Skittles cause you may never want them again.  I don't eat candy and never really have so it just doesn't bother me.  Between the "bowel band" musical today and the skittles talk I am ready to bury my head somewhere except there is one problem.....I really need to have the rainbow exit my orchestral pit!
Steph

DAY TWENTY SIX - REAL FOOD, REAL GOOD!

Yes, today was the day!  I had a fabulous breakfast of egg salad and 1 whole wheat melba toast. I had my southwest chicken pureed soup for lunch, V8 for afternoon snack and my tuna casserole for supper.  I was so happy to have flavours and textures.  I am already working on tomorrows menu: egg salad & melba toast, ground chicken chili for lunch, cottage cheese for pm snack, and the piece de la resistance.....baked chicken breast, mixed veggies( zucchini,tomatoes, onions,mushroom, yellow,red & green peppers) and mashed potatoes.  My favourite thing in the world is mashed potatoes....I can't wait till tomorrows supper!  I bought some of the thin bagels that are 100 calories per bagel.  I think that Friday I am going to have my half whole wheat thin bagel with my 1 tbsp of peanut butter, chicken meatball,potatoes & fruit for lunch and tuna casserole for supper, yogurt for snack.  I am looking forward to Saturday morning as I am going to have a poached egg and half my whole wheat thin bagel.  I have really been looking forward to a poached egg and I am still craving tuna so somehow I will work it into my weekend menu.  I know my blog is mostly about food today but I am so excited to have "real food".  I will still have lots of my pureed soups for lunches at work as they are easy, but I want to try to have my bigger protein meals in the morning and at night.  Not sure how this continues to help with weight lose but I will keep plugging on.  I did much better with the water intake today!  I had some Nestea ice tea.....less calories than crystal light and I totally loved the flavour.  Thanks to one of my coworkers I think I am hooked on the Nestea Ice tea single servings.  Since my husband decided that he really needs to have bacon this weekend but feels bad cooking or eating it infront of me I bought my self a lb of chicken bacon.  I can cook it an weigh it as it is not red meat...right!  Has anyone ever had the chicken bacon....I think I ate the turkey bacon before but not chicken bacon.  Mmmmmmmm my house smells so good right now....chicken baking, potatoes cooking!  If anyone has interesting low calorie recipes that stay away from red meat then let me know! Anyways, sorry for posting so late but had a appointment I had to get to earlier this evening.  Now I have to go watch American Idol.
Tootles
Steph

Day Twenty Five - Worker Bee is at the Hive!

Wikipedia says that a worker bee is any female eusocial bee that lacks the full capacity of a  reproductive system. Did you know that there are 11 specific jobs done by a worker bee.  This is the true meaning of multi tasking folks.  I returned to work today after 24 days and was pleased with myself.  First and foremost I remembered all my passwords to get into the lovely computer system that I work on, second it only took me 50 minutes to clean up the 267 emails that were overloading my inbox, third I only had to ask a few questions to jog my memory into it's work place.  My productivity for the day I thought was fairly good for being off for so long.  I worked my eating schedule into my work day quite well.  I took my breaks instead of skipping them and did a walk around the building to keep my legs moving.  Now this is where the title connects so pay attention...when a worker bee enters the hive it takes awhile for the others to realize she is there but once she is noticed she is surrounded and befriended by the other workers.  I have not had that many people talk to me at work in the entire time I have worked there!  Many thanks to the people that spoke to me and made me feel a welcomed return.  Once I had my computer set up and my emails all cleaned up I started right back into the swing of things just like a worker bee....they keep going and going.  As the morning progressed and many people had stopped to say Hi and comment on my weight loss I realized just how much my looks had changed and how much more they will change as I continue to reduce my weight on this journey.  Worker Bee bella "G" had to come and get me for a lunch break or I would have totally forgotten all about it since I was so involved in my work (good little bee huh) I sat in the lunch room and had my soup (southwest chicken) and it was really good.  Could only eat part of it but I was satisfied with what I ate.  When my lunch was done I headed back to my comb or should I say desk.  Immersed myself in my work once again and didn't look up until it was 2 minutes before the end of my day.  Another coworker asked me "If it was the longest day of my life"....I said "nope, it went by fast".  I guess it did for two reasons, One: I like what I do for a living two: I was happy to be back and feel useful.  I think that is the worse part about being off for any length of time in which you are limited to what you can and cannot do....bordom and a feeling of uselessness set in and then it is down hill from there.  People said that I look so happy and that they can even see a difference in the way I walk.  I guess walking isn't as painful as it was since the weight is reducing which definitely makes me a happier person.  I could see the regular office busy busy happening and that's what made me think of worker bees...again they are female and multitask like no one's business!  What a smart creator we must have!  Females are the fabulous multitaskers just take a good look at nature ....and the world.  Girl power or should that be "Bee power" to all the worker bees out there.  All of you should pat yourself on the back, multitask at work, multitask at home, plus everything else that falls in between those two hives!  We are exceptional beings....us ladies!
Bee have
Steph

Day Twenty Four - Bariatric Clinic Bust!

So this is where I get to say " I knew it was too good to be true".  There is a twenty pound difference between my scale at home and the bariatric clinic's scale....their's will be the correct one.  So instead of being down 89 lbs I am down 69 lbs.  I had a good visit but there were a couple kinks.  The first one was I am not drinking enough water....this is causing some issues.....constipation ...check.....unable to sweat which means no exercising which means no gym.  I am truely saddened by this turn of events.  The nurse was concerned about my legs and if I was doing my leg exercises.....WHAT LEG EXERCISES!....No one told me to do leg exercises ....the only I knew from working with bed ridden seniors and common sense was you need to keep moving to try to prevent a blood clot.  This coupled with the two weeks of the blood thinner injections that I took made me think I was in the clear for a blood clot but apparently not.  So now I am doing leg exercises and am drinking more water.  Feel like I am a inflated water bed right now slushing all over the place but it is apparently of the utmost importance that I drink 2 litres of water a day....in between my meals.  Oh yes, this should be fun as I am already full 99% of the time.  Now the catch to the water drinking is if I don't drink more than constipation will occur and then I have to take a stool softener and increase my water intake by another litre oh and I cannot work out or sweat until I am hydrated properly because I will pass out.  This seems to be an impossible situation that I am looking at.  I was totally thrilled about my menu change on Thursday but now I am not so sure.  Addition of solid food can also bring constipation and with that I need to drink more again .....I'm gonna FLOAT away darn it!  Once I was finished learning my scale was wrong and the whole water issue I had to go visit the dietician.  This time I had to answer all the "how are you tolerating this?" questions.  So far so good with everything I have eaten or should I say slurped off a spoon.  Then we went through the entire menu choice and new soft  solid menu change this week.  I really did understand it completely but I guess she figured I didn't.  I was informed that these amounts are what I can eat up to but not over this amount.  I said that I didn't think I could eat it all and she again reminded me that this was the limit.  I really don't think I am confused by this menu it really isn't rocket science.  I also got the water intake speech with the dietician too....and that this will lead to constipation and dehydration.  After leaving the clinic, it was the first time since I don't remember when that I really felt like saying "to heck with this" and just buy a sub or burger.  I know that is just my disappointment speaking out of turn and I just need to regroup and start viewing things a little different again.  So even though I am truly disappointed that I cannot go to the gym yet I am able to use some 2.5 lb weights around my ankles and wrists while doing stuff at home and I got the "ShakeWeight" as seen on TV.  Six minutes a day of shaking this weight helps with the toning of your arms, chest and back.  I am also allowed to take short walks and can use the weights during this time, but this is to be done with extreme caution and never alone as I could dehydrate very quickly and pass out.  May 25 is my next appointment with the surgeon and hopefully then I will get the go ahead to go back to the gym.  Until then I will be shaking my big bacon all over sounding like a wave pool on a 40 Celcius afternoon! Don't picture it....the mental picture could be disturbing...viewer discretion is advised!

Steph

Day Twenty Three, - Beautiful weather, my deck and the bbq

 Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mom's that are reading this blog.  What an absolutely gorgeous day for mother's to celebrate therre day.  My day started with going to church where each mother was given a beautiful rose.  Many thanks Cornerstone.  Then my afternoon was spent with my family at my brother's home.  Beautiful day and beautiful BBQ.  Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Salads, Fruits, nachos & dips, cheese, pickles, tomatoes all the condiments known and the topper was BBQ'd donuts filled with ice cream and drizzle in chocolate sauce or maple syrup.  I am thrilled that my family enjoyed their meal and my mom and sister in law could enjoy the food.  We did however miss my cousin who could not join us today as she had a previous engagement to be at!  I am getting much better at sitting and eating with my family at large dinners and not feeling sad that I am missing out.  I had my pureed soup and my crystal light and was very satisfied.  I think not being a huge sweet lover helps out too.  Gotta say the burgers and beef hot dogs smelled fine! I am about to enjoy some apple sauce to finish off my dinner.  I see the surgeon tomorrow morning at 8am.  I am excited to weigh in again at the hospital to see how accurate my scale is.  I am so excited to get the go ahead to go back to the gym and start my work out again.  I am not sure how long this appointment with the surgeon will be but I am confident it will be a progressive appointment.  I am back to work the following day and hopefully back to the gym.  I believe this will be my shortest blog to date but I am at a loss for words today.  I know amazing huh.  Have a nice night everyone.
Steph

Day Twenty Two - Neapolitan

 Just to start with an update 2/3 of the "J" Team was here today and once again did a fabulous job cleaning for me.  I am so thankful for these ladies.  My sister - in - law tackled my oven today, wow what a mess.  She cleaned the oven, inside and out, set the self clean and pulled it out from the wall.  Cleaned the terrible mess that had accumulated underneath in the last year or two plus her and my cousin put the whole appliance on rollers so I can easily pull it out from the wall.  Once the "J" Team left and my kitchen was all sparkly clean I just had to cook.  So I made spaghetti pie for my gang for supper and made a Neapolitan cake for my friend.  It's Mother's Day tomorrow and I thought the cake would be nice to go with a card.  I just hate giving a card alone.  While I was making the cake my mind was going a mile a minute.  I do lots of thinking...keeps me from eating....lol.  As I made the three layers, vanilla, strawberry and chocolate I was drawn to the fact that everyone has layers.  You know what I am talking about.  First you see the yummy outside layer that everyone loves, then there is the next layer(strawberry) and not everyone loves this layer, finally there is a finishing layer (chocolate) this is the real inside layer the one that everyone likes to get to but few do.  I'm laughing now because a lot of my analogies seem to relate to food....funny huh.  Why do I feel like we all have layers, well maybe I should personalize it more.  Why do I feel like I have layers, because I do have layers.  Now I want to make it clear before I try to peel these layers is I am not saying I am fake or that anyone else is just that we all have levels of emotions, feeling and what I call "security levels".  My vanilla layer is what everyone sees....me.  I am a relatively happy person, pretty laid back at times, fairly easy to get along with some people even feel I might be not very smart as I just don't engage with some people or certain situations (security level 3).  The strawberry level is a little more intense.  People that know this level know that yes all of the things from the vanilla level are true but there is some wear and tear in the heart & mind shown in this layer.  A little more of me is exposed (security level 2).  Not ever one likes this level as I do engage, say the things I need to say.  I tend to pick my battles at this level but you will soon find I am quite intelligent and have pockets of experience in many many avenues.  You will also find that I do not back down when it is a moral or ethical issue.  My children are my fire and if they are attacked in anyway it is like adding gasoline.  My intense drive for knowledge and organization can be a force to reckon with.  My loyalty to friends, family & faith is unquestionable.  Sheer determination and stubborness drives this perfectly pink layer which is how I can bake and cook without being tempted to eat.  This layer holds heartache and fears but they are not really unlocked at this level.  My tendency to make a joke or laugh at the situation is my way of side stepping the issue at the center....the choclate layer.  Security level 1, the chocolate layer.....this is my most protected layer.  This is protected better that The Canadian Mint!  This is the layer that most people never reach....if you hang around long enough to get past vanilla and cruise into strawberry well, most people don't think there is more to me but the chocolate is always the best!  This is the layer that holds the most sorrow, most fears and most love.  Do I let people get this close?  Tell you the truth....I don't think so.  There has been some that have tasted this layer but have always slammed up the gates.  People that have glimpsed at this layer are people that have had a place ...a special place in my life and heart.  In order to save myself (you know like saving the best piece of the cake for last) I don't let people in that far.  To me this has always stopped more heartache, but am I missing out?  The best part of eating a neapolitan cake is you taste all the flavours, all three layers, vanilla, strawberry and chocolate.  It wouldn't be a Neapolitan cake without the three layers.  I am not really me without allowing people to see all three layers?  I guess my challenge to myself is to let people in and let love out!
Steph

Day Twenty-One - Me, the chair & my derriere!

In the immortal words of that famous pooch, Scooby-Doo.....SCOOBY-DOOBIE DOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  I am pretty excited.  Now this is a biggie for me so don't laugh! Today I went to an appointment with my husband at CMH.  For years and years I have always surveyed the waiting area as soon as possible and sought out the chairs with no arms.  You know those ugly chairs with the metal or wood arm handles.  Once in awhile I would get one of the larger chairs or I would just simply rather suffer standing on my ankle than sitting squished into a chair.  I have on occasion pushed and squished my oversized hind end into these very uncomfortable chairs only to have my thighs so squished that my legs would fall asleep and I would have bruises for weeks afterwards.  TODAY I did the same survey of a waiting room that I have sat in many many times, but there was only two available chairs and they of course were the ones with the arms.  With the place being packed as it was Geoff and I grabbed for the two chairs.  Taking a deep breath I started my decent into the chair, only to be shocked and delighted.....the chair and my derriere made friends.  YES, my big butt fit in the chair!  OH happy day, I not only fit without being squished I sat there for almost an hour without having my legs fall asleep, without having to keep moving to stop the pinching.  It was a satisfaction that I am not sure I could explain in words.  Only someone that has been overweight and has lost a large amount of weight would completely understand this feeling.  This is just one more of the milestones that I will touch on my way to my goal.  I have not weighed myself again this week as I have made it my rule to only do it once a week, that way I don't obsess about the weight reduction as much.  I am still working out a way to plan my meals at work to fit in with my new way of eating.  I was so pleased to read some really good recipes on My Daily Strength yesteday from fellow GBS friends.  I have already bought some of the ingredients to prepare some of the new recipes I read.  I am excited that there is a huge support group and that they are from all over the world and that everyone is so very kind, helpful and supportive.  I am preparing and handling the groceries and meals at home and doing it so far without any problems.  I have learned to cook without tasting everything and  don't seem to be craving to much.  The only huge craving I have had is a Subway flatbread tuna sub.  Weird eh?  I am able to have tuna next week and I cannot eat flatbread but I can have 1/2 a whole wheat pita or 1/2 a 6in torilla....so my version of a tuna sub is on it's way.  I am totaly excited about having a poached egg and some egg salad, of course it is slightly tweeked to fit my diet but that is ok by me.  Food sort of has a new approach and excitement for me. My new motto is now  "enjoy what you have, not have more to enjoy".  If I remember my motto and stick to my instructions from the bariatric clinic I should stay on a good path, plus adding back in my exercise routine will definitely help my goal.  Since my caboose is shrinking I should start some toning exercises to keep that on the decline.  Monday I see the surgeon, will weigh in at the hospital and will get the "green light" to go back to the gym.  Tuesday I am back to work and back to the gym if all goes well.  I am certain that everything is going well and I will return to my regular schedule of things and this makes me happy.  To my coworkers: see you all on Tuesday!!!!
Steph

Day Twenty - Fly Butterfly Fly

 I will be 37 years old in May and for a large part of my life I have had butterflies in it.  I know that may sound funny but let me back track a bit and do a bit of explaining.  Mr. John G Powers, other wise known as "The Butterfly Man" has been a close family friend since before my birth.  John has spent his entire life devoted to his love of butterflies.  He is the founder of "Wings of Paradise" and has three world class travelling exhibitions Flying Jewels, The Incredible World of Bugs, and The Wings of Paradise Exhibit.  I began doing odd jobs for John at a very young age and by the time I was 13 I was manning the table at his mall show exhibits.  I have packaged hundred of thousands of butterfly products that John has created and marketed.  My parents home growing up always had beautiful shadow box cased butterflies from all over the world.  One this John taught me over the years is the beauty and miracle of the butterfly.  As a young teenager John would set me up with my own caterpillar, generally a monach.  He would give me a lesson on how to care for the little crawling creature I had, what to feed it ( I picked milkweed for ages) and how to know when the little caterpillar was going to change into a beautiful butterfly.  One of John's fabulous collections has signed autographs from celebrities from all over the world, anyone that has sang a song about butterflies, made a movie that made mention of butterflies, had a motto of butterflies like Mohammed Ali ( Float like a butterfly, Sting like a bee). Recently Ms. Miley Cyrus has sang a song entitled Butterfly Fly Away.  The main chorus of the song speaks about "Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be, can't go far but you can always dream.""Butterfly fly away, Butterfly fly away, flap your wings now you can't stay, take those dreams and make them all come true."  I have always believed caterpillars and butterflies are one of God's most beautiful miracles.  My favourite butterflies are the jewel toned butterflies, the Blue Morpho is my absolute favourite.  It is a large butterfly with a wingspan of 5 to 8 inches and is found in South and Central America.  Their beautiful jewel tone is a mixture of blue and green iridesence.  It is a profound miracle to watch these beauties emerge from the cocoon.  My mind is drawn to a wise quote from Richard Bach "What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.  I talked about the countdown to my surgery and then my new life starting.  It reminds me of the caterpillar and the butterfly.  I began a journey as a caterpillar, preparing for my cocoon...I reached the time or the end as some would say but it was not the end it was the beginning.  The beginning of my life, and as I emerge I will be the butterfly.  Fly Butterfly Fly!
Steph

Day Nineteen - Jack & The Beanstalk vs Stephanie & The Staircase

The part of Jack & the Beanstalk that I want to point out is Jack really wanted to climb that beanstalk. He wanted to see what was at the top so bad, explore a new world. I to want to explore a new world, but my goal is not to climb to the top; my goal is to go in the opposite direction, reverse as some might say. At the top of my staircase is my highest amount I have ever weighed......I have spent alot of time at the top of this staircase but made a decision to begin my decline. I don't know if Jack stopped on each different branch he used to climb that beanstalk but I have stopped to view the scenary on ever step down. I learn something new, something exciting with each new step. Today I stepped on the scale again ( I made a rule for myself that I can only get on the scale once a week). I have not been weighed for 14 days. The scale I have could not weigh me the first few times as it has a maximum weight amount and I was still above it. Today the scale told me that I am down 20 lbs since my last weight in. I really hope the scale doesn't lie, but I have tried it at 3 different times today and am only off by a lb either way. That makes for a total lose of 81 lbs since Christmas and 70 lbs since April 1 2011. I realize that I still have a fair amount of weight reduce but I am confident that I will continue with my staircase decline. I assume that the weight reduction will slow down somewhat in it's rapid decline. I have changed about 4 1/2 sizes so far in pants, but the funniest is I am going to have to buy new shoes as my shoes are all to big. Next week when I go back to work it is once again casual dress wear and I will need to dig out some of my dresser smaller clothing. I have a sense of pride when I see what I have accomplished and the clothing that I can fit back into, but part of my feels a little helpless or maybe hanging in limbo is a better way to put it. Like the childrens rhyme "round and round she goes; where she stops no one knows." I have events throughout the summer and early fall that I am attending and I cannot fathom what in the world I will wear. It's a little troubling but once I have a better gist the weight reduction and if or when it slows down I will be able to do some planning. It's about not being prepared for me I guess. Strange, because I am so happy to watch the weight dropping off it's just a weird state of being, mind and body. I had lunch (soup-split pea and ham in which I took out all the ham pieces I cannot eat) with my dad today, the waitress couldn't figure out why I only ate a little bit of the soup and asked to take the rest with me. I explained I just had GBS and that my amounts are small. She said that she didn't think that anyone could survive on those amounts and that I probably wasn't getting my vitamins and nutrients that I need. I am doing exactly what the bariatric clinic has instructed me to do, measuring everything, weighing everything following the rules to the T. I know that at the 2 month post op mark I have to begin to take a prenatal vitamin as they have the most needed vitamin and minerals. My blood work is set up for every 3 months so they can monitor my levels closely in case there is an iron deficiency or other low levels. I still am not feeling hungry or starving as I have been asked. I am just figuring out how I am going to work my meal plan into my work schedule. I have prepackaged and measured soups and meals, I have to try toast and peanut butter for breakfast....lol my 1/4 piece with 1 tbsp of peanut butter. I can have egg salad and melba toast too. I have 8 days till I can eat solid food. This is a step that I will stop and enjoy on the decent of my weight decline staircase. Jack got to the top of his beanstalk and saw what he wanted, I will get to the bottom of my staircase but I will not go back up the way Jack went back down.
Steph

Day Eighteen - Green Eggs and Ham

The ever popular children's book Green Eggs and Ham written by the beloved author, Dr. Seuss is where today's blog title comes from.  In the book Green Eggs and Ham the major quote is " I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I am." Then the story goes on to ask "would you like them in a boat, with a goat, in a box with a fox."(Dr.Seuss).  I do not like green eggs and I cannot eat ham till October but what I wouldn't give for a poached eggs (note: my friend and my husband are sitting here eating my favourite: eggs benedict right now).  As I was thinking about what to write today I looked at some of the other Dr. Seuss quotes and some are very good.  "Sometimes questions are complicated and answers are simple" is a Dr.Suess quote, but thinking about it makes sense....too many times we complicate the questions and the answers we seek are so simple.  I like to plan and prepare and totally think things through " I like nonsense, it wakes up brain cells"(Dr.Seuss).  Waking up brain cells is good for us all, but Dr.Seuss's quote "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..." How true is this quote, I know what I know and I know that I am 36 years old, have lived through some insane situations, I have two children, I have had GBS and I am a winner!  I am going to succeed!  Some thought my blog yesterday Visitors, Friends and Fakes was harsh and showed bitterness and anger.  I don't believe I am bitter I just wanted the people that decide to talk about me to know that I am not in the dark about it.  Dr. Suess also had a comment that suits "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." Now I am beginning to think Dr.Seuss was a pretty smart guy and maybe it wasn't all directed at children.  "The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."(Dr.Seuss)  I love to read, I love to learn.  I have said before knowledge is power and power brings with it success.  With the knowledge that I have and the writing that I do in my blog I hope that I am able to help someone with their journey throught GBS or with any kind of journey. "Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!"(Dr.Seuss) I think I am on the right path for my life, I think I can have great success on my new life journey " I can in a house, with a mouse" I can on my own, I can all alone, I will with all my friends, I will with praying hands. Oh Dear Oh Dear I think I might be on a rhyming roll, all the way to my 100 lb goal.  "If things start happening, don't worry, don't stew, just go right along and you'll start happening too." (Dr.Seuss) I am down almost 60 pounds, that it almost astounds, it's such a quick pace and you can see the lose in my face.  My pants are getting kind of loose, and there is shrinkage in my caboose.  My shoulders look smaller and that makes me stand taller.  I am so excited I just want to holler, I hope I am not being a bother.  "You're off to great places, Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting! So....get on your way! (Dr.Seuss) My weight is dropping, blouses no longer popping, but haven't done any shopping, because the reduction isn't stopping.  Day by day, little by little I work towards my goal, a dream from deep in my soul.  "So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains."(Dr.Seuss) Dr.Seuss said "Only you can control your future" "You'll be on your way up!You'll be seeing great sights!You'll join the high fliers who soar to high heights."(Dr.Seuss)  I believe I am on my flight path, my weight reduction is like subtraction in math, I am on my way to my mountain, maybe I can stop at the youth fountain. Now I leave you with one last quote, please don't pout Dr Seuss said "Why fit in when you were born to stand out." (Dr.Seuss).
Steph